When the coronavirus pandemic began, we were figuring out how to stay safe, how to stay home and how this was going to affect our lives in the long run. Now that we have better answers to many of these questions, new ones have surfaced. How can I stay healthy while interacting with others? How can I prevent the spread of this disease? What can I do if I’ve lost a job? How can I explain this to my kids? Simply, how can I live in this new normal?
Six Big Questions
Where are we in developing a vaccine?
The Food and Drug Administration’s emergency authorization of two vaccines — one developed by Pfizer and BioNTech and the other by Moderna has set in motion the most ambitious vaccination campaign in the nation’s history. Vaccines are rolling out to health workers now and will reach the rest of us by spring, with the timelines varying a bit by state.
We know you have more questions about the vaccines. So, we have added some basic answers below, and you can find a more comprehensive list here.
I have antibodies. Am I now immune?
People infected with the coronavirus typically produce immune molecules called antibodies, which are protective proteins found in the blood made in response to an infection. These antibodies may last in the body only two to three months, which may seem worrisome, but that’s perfectly normal after an acute infection subsides, said Dr. Michael Mina, an immunologist at Harvard University.
The real problem is that your antibody test may be inaccurate, according to guidelines issued in September by a major medical society. Some tests look for the wrong antibodies and even the right antibodies may fade away.
Because current tests cannot determine if someone is immune, the Infectious Diseases Society of America said, antibody tests “cannot inform decisions to discontinue physical distancing or lessen the use of personal protective equipment."
How is the winter weather affecting the virus?
Cases have increased rather steadily since November, which saw four million new cases in that month alone, climaxing on Jan. 8 with almost 300,600 new cases that day. Even with dips in new cases later this winter, the numbers are still far above those from before November.
Across the country, the overall Covid-19 risk level is far worse now than ever before, according to coronavirus cases and testing data analyzed by The Times and public health experts. Right now, residents of most U.S. counties are at an extremely high risk for contracting the virus. (A county is considered to be at an extremely high risk level if it either reports more than 640 cases per 100,000 people during the past two weeks or has more than 10 percent of test results reported as positive.) And while cases have fallen from their record highs in January, an average of more than 3,000 daily deaths from the virus were reported that month. Go to this search bar to look up your county's risk level and to get suggestions about what to do to stay safe.
And those numbers don’t lie. Winter is a double-edged sword: We are more indoors, increasing our risk among those around us, and the colder, less humid weather can increase the viral load of the air we’re breathing in. Covid-19’s fatty outer membrane becomes rubbery in cold weather — easing its transmission between people whose dry and winter-damaged nasal passages are more susceptible anyway. (Makes you want to throw on a mask, huh?)
“The nose and mouth are the virus’s portal of entry,” said Rossi A. Hassad, an epidemiologist and statistician at Mercy College in Dobbs Ferry, N.Y. “How can a mask not be a barrier against an organism coming toward me?”
And just because this is the year of Covid-19, doesn’t mean that winter’s stuffy friend, the flu, got the memo to stay away. As in other years, tens of thousands of people are expected to die from the flu this year. (A point of comparison: Covid-19 has a fatality rate at least 10 times that of the flu.)
What we know about the flu, which has that same rubbery membrane coat, can inform us about the dangers and precautions we should take against Covid-19.
Comparing the two, Dr. Hassad wrote in MedPage Today: “This Covid-19 pandemic has the potential to parallel the 1918 flu pandemic if we fail to comply with the protective measures recommended by public health authorities.”
So far, more than 400,000 people have died in the U.S., with the country recording its first 100,000 deaths from the virus in late spring.
In addition to prime winter conditions for the virus, people across the country are also experiencing pandemic fatigue. Or as Dr. Stanley M. Perlman, a microbiologist at the University of Iowa who has studied coronaviruses for more than 40 years, puts it, “People are losing respect for the virus and letting their guard down.”
Striking a balance between restrictions and mental health, while also keeping yourself and others out of harm’s way, is important.
So what to do? If you are indoors, wear a mask, keep the recommended six feet distance from people outside your immediate household whenever possible, try to limit your time inside to only places with good ventilation, open windows when you can and crank the heat, if necessary. Humidifiers are also strongly recommended.
But if you are socializing with others, it’s better to stay outside whenever possible. One suggestion from the British journalist Oliver Burkeman: Embrace your inner Brit and suck it up. An umbrella over the barbecue? (Not a problem, Mr. Burkeman said.) Eating ice cream in your fleeces? (Still yum.) And, remember, just because you’re socializing in the cold, doesn’t mean you can’t complain about the weather. (The Brits always do.)
Will there be another stimulus payment?
Another dose of relief was approved for the millions of Americans facing financial distress because of the coronavirus pandemic.
After months of back and forth, congressional leaders in both parties came to an agreement in December, providing a round of $600 stimulus payments to most Americans and partly restoring the enhanced federal unemployment benefit, offering $300 for 11 weeks.
The legislative package provides welcome, albeit temporary, assistance to many, some of whom have already received stimulus checks and heartier and lengthened unemployment payments, but the package has also been criticized for being too little too late. President Biden promised additional aid, urging a third relief package.
We’ve answered many of your questions about the current relief package, and will provide updates as the new presidential administration moves forward.
What’s the deal with schools?
The answer really depends on where you live: how bad the outbreak is in your geographic area and how strict local officials are being to keep the number of cases down. Some school districts have remained virtual, while others have fully reopened classrooms or have remained on a hybrid schedule. But across the country, the colder weather is starting to make it harder to keep students safe, as cases tick up and schools that have reopened shut back down.
In October, New York City, which had previously implemented a hybrid schedule, was the first big city to reopen all of its public schools — then quickly announced an immediate and indefinite shutdown in November. A few days later, however, the city announced a return to in-person education, and the tapering off of hybrid learning. (Do you have whiplash yet?) And the start to 2021 has caused only more uncertainty.
Currently, only younger students and those with complex disabilities — making up about 190,000 of the some 1.1 million of the city's public school students — are learning in the classroom, with a vast majority opting for remote learning. Middle and high school students, who were welcomed to the classroom for just a few weeks this fall, have no set date to return. It’s been hardly a promising effort for the nation’s largest school system, which has been criticized for lackluster remote learning, creating an ever-greater racial disparity within the school system — and one that school administrators across the country have turned to for an example of how to reopen safely.
But after Covid-19 rates surged across California this fall, schools in several counties hit the brakes. The first students in Los Angeles began returning to the classroom in November, as schools serving kindergartners through second graders applied for county-approved health waivers to teach in areas with high infection rates. By the end of January, all students in San Diego are slated to return at least a few days a week. But San Francisco schools remain shuttered, with hopes of reopening in January dashed amidst high rates across the state. "Right now we are in a surge that requires us to stay home and stop the spread," Mayor London Breed said in a statement in December. In an open letter published in January, 30 medical professionals from the University of California, San Francisco, urged the reopening of schools across the state by Feb. 1, writing: “Long term school closures have a detrimental, measurable impact on children and adolescents.”
As of mid-January, the vast majority of states — including New York — had handed off the decision-making for school openings to local districts, according to data pulled by Education Week, a news organization covering K-12. Only Puerto Rico and Washington, D.C. (with some exceptions) have full closures in effect, while a handful of states — Delaware, North Carolina, West Virginia, New Mexico, California and Hawaii have partial closures, with hybrid instruction sometimes allowed. In contrast, four states — Texas, Florida, Arkansas and Iowa — require schools to offer at least some in-person instruction. (See Education Week's up-to-date map showing school openings by state.) For more information about schools, keep scrolling to our section on Schools.
What about work?
Essential workers were never able to stay home and many of the rest of us might already be back in the office — in August, a survey by LinkedIn and Censuswide found that more than two-thirds of offices in the U.S. had either reopened or never closed in the first place.
Another survey of workers (this one by Wakefield Research and commissioned by Envoy, a workplace technology company) shows widespread hesitancy to return to the office. As an employee, you have some (limited) rights (at the federal, state and local level), but you won’t always be able to decide.
Even as cases rise, some workplaces are adamant about an in-person return — complete with contactless entries, limited elevator usage, plexiglass dividers, alternating schedules, frequent temperature readings and requirements to wear masks and social distance.
No matter what, be sure you know what to expect — and what’s expected of you before you head in. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration, known as OSHA, calls for employers to develop an infectious disease preparedness and response plan, among other suggestions, but employers aren’t mandated to do so.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have also posted guidelines for promoting the use of facemasks, taking daily health surveys, disclosing symptoms and determining how employees may have been exposed at work. (And the C.D.C. says that a full shutdown isn’t always needed if cases pop up in the office.)
For others, this all still seems pretty far out. Some larger corporations, including Google, Uber, Target and Ford Motor (and, while we’re on the topic, The New York Times) have decided to keep workers largely remote until next summer.
And on the extreme side of the argument, some companies, including Facebook, Twitter and Microsoft, have said that their employees won’t ever have to return to the office and that they will continue to have a permanent remote working option.
For more, head to our “Money and Work” section.
When can I get the vaccine?
While the exact order of vaccine recipients may vary by state, most have put medical workers and residents of long-term care facilities first, with older people and those with certain health problems ahead of younger, healthier populations. If you want to understand how this decision is getting made, this article will help.
When can I return to normal life after being vaccinated?
Life will return to normal only when society as a whole gains enough protection against the coronavirus. Once a country authorizes a vaccine, it’ll be able to vaccinate only a few percent of its citizens at most in the first couple of months. The unvaccinated majority will still remain vulnerable to getting infected.
A growing number of coronavirus vaccines are showing robust protection against becoming sick. But it’s also possible for people to spread the virus without even knowing they’re infected because they experience only mild symptoms or none at all. Scientists don’t yet know if the vaccines also block the transmission of the coronavirus.
So for the time being, even vaccinated people will need to wear masks, avoid indoor crowds and so on.
Once enough people get vaccinated, it will become very difficult for the coronavirus to find vulnerable people to infect — this is known as herd immunity. In a candid press conference in January Dr. Anthony Fauci, who is President Biden’s chief medical adviser for the pandemic, said that if the United States can vaccinate 70 percent to 85 percent of the population by the middle or end of the summer, “by the time we get to the fall, we will be approaching a degree of normality.”
If I’ve been vaccinated, do I still need to wear a mask?
Yes, but not forever. The vaccines clearly protect people from getting sick with Covid-19. But the clinical trials that delivered these results were not designed to determine whether vaccinated people could still spread the coronavirus without developing symptoms. That remains a possibility: We know that people who are naturally infected by the coronavirus can spread it while they’re not experiencing any cough or other symptoms.
Researchers will be intensely studying this question as the vaccines roll out. In the meantime, even vaccinated people will need to think of themselves as possible spreaders.
Will it hurt? What are the side effects?
The Pfizer and BioNTech vaccine is delivered as a shot in the arm, like other typical vaccines. The injection won’t be any different from ones you’ve gotten before. Tens of thousands of people have already received the vaccines.
While serious allergic reactions are rare, they have been documented. For instance, 10 minutes after receiving the Pfizer vaccine, a healthcare worker in Alaska had an anaphylactic reaction, and a rash crossed her face and torso. She also had shortness of breath and an elevated heart rate. And 10 minutes after the same vaccine, another healthcare worker in Alaska experienced eye puffiness, lightheadedness and a scratchy throat, but after medical treatment he was back to normal within an hour. Both workers, who were expected to recover, said they hoped their experiences did not negatively impact the vaccination process, according to the hospital. (The Pfizer vaccine was shown to be safe and about 95 percent effective in a clinical trial involving 44,000 participants.) In some places, people driving through for a shot in the arm have been asked to wait in the parking lot for 15 minutes to monitor for any immediate effects.
More often, some people have felt short-lived discomfort, including aches and flu-like symptoms that last less than a day. It’s possible that people may need to plan to take a day off of work or school after the second injection.
While minor aches and pains aren’t pleasant, they are a good sign: They are the result of your immune system encountering the vaccine and mounting a potent response that will provide long-lasting immunity.
Will mRNA vaccines change my genes?
No. The vaccines from Moderna and Pfizer use a genetic molecule to prime the immune system. That molecule, known as mRNA, is eventually destroyed by the body.
The mRNA is packaged in an oily bubble that can fuse to a cell, allowing the molecule to slip in. The cell uses the mRNA to make proteins from the coronavirus, which can stimulate the immune system. At any moment, each of our cells may contain hundreds of thousands of mRNA molecules, which are produced to make proteins of their own. Once those proteins are made, our cells then shred the mRNA with special enzymes: The mRNA molecules our cells make can survive only a matter of minutes.
Meanwhile, the mRNA in vaccines is engineered to withstand the cell’s enzymes a bit longer, so cells can make extra virus proteins, prompting a stronger immune response. Even so, the mRNA can last for only a few days at most before they are destroyed.
We have things to celebrate. What should we do?
Even with a pandemic raging, there are things some have been lucky enough to celebrate. And you should: Life is short — you just don’t want to make it unnecessarily shorter. So how do you celebrate safely?
Infection rates have been on the rise as people began cozying up together indoors. In November, the month of Thanksgiving, the virus set new daily infection records: a million new cases reported in 10 days, another million in under seven days — a total of four million new cases over that month. And we similarly saw increases after the winter holidays — with a record 300,600 new cases Jan. 8 alone, just a week after New Year’s.
Some celebrations are worth delaying indefinitely. (Have you really turned a year older if it hasn’t been celebrated?) Others can be hosted over video chat. Or you can whittle down the party — masked up and distanced — to the people who matter the most.
And if you’re determined to gather, be sure to keep your guest list small. Experts advise limiting the number of households attending. (It’s best not to mix households at all.)
The recommended 10-day quarantine ahead of gathering — or even a shorter restriction of your contacts is better than nothing. Experts also suggest driving to the destination while limiting contact along the way, keeping your mask on and doing your best to keep some distance from those not in your household. You could throw a test on top for extra precaution — even for local gatherings. (See below for information about testing to determine the best test for you and when you should get it. And get more information from the C.D.C. about testing here.)
No matter the location or style of the event, everyone should wear masks as much as possible when not eating and people from different households should do their best to keep their distance. The recommendation is keeping six feet apart at all times.
The best safe-hosting option? Move the gathering outside. Outdoor gatherings are lower risk because wind disperses viral droplets, and sunlight can kill some of the virus. Open spaces prevent the virus from building up in concentrated amounts and being inhaled, which can happen when infected people exhale in a confined space for long stretches of time, according to Dr. Julian W. Tang, a virologist at the University of Leicester. (Go here for some tips on safe picnicking.)
If it gets cold, you can crank the heater — in fact, the C.D.C. suggests putting your central air and heating on “continuous circulation.” Exhaust fans (like those over your stove or in the bathroom) can also help, but don’t turn on a regular fan — because that will simply recirculate the same, potentially contaminated air and increase everyone’s risk.
Other ways to lower the risk to you and your guests is to limit the length of your celebrations, keeping shouting and singing to a minimum, and limiting the sharing of serving bowls and utensils. And don’t bother getting out the nice guest towels. This year, paper towels are the way to go. The C.D.C. also reminds us to drink responsibly: “Use of alcohol or drugs may alter judgment and make it more difficult to practice Covid-19 safety measures.”
During the pandemic, being a good host means letting your guests know the expectations and safety standards up front — so no one is uncomfortable by unexpected rules or the lack there of — and have extra masks on hand in case a guest forgets.
But if you’re truly worried about getting Uncle Harold sick, stay home. It is the surest way to keep him safe.
And remember, no matter how far you traveled to gather: If you develop Covid-19 related symptoms (fever, shortness of breath, etc.) within 14 days of celebrating or later test positive, make sure to let your host know and follow these guidelines to keep others safe.
What should we do about birthdays?
For those of us who enjoy getting older — or at least all the attention that comes with it, you can still observe the day while making sure you live to see another year. For those in milder climates, park birthdays (everyone masked and distanced) may still be an option. (For those in colder climates, a park party is a good way to see who will scarf-and-glove up for you — you know, the people who really love you.)
Otherwise, that virtual party over Zoom can actually be a lot of fun (I’m speaking from experience) — so long as you limit the time and plan simple, interactive ways to get everyone on the call to take part. Don’t pick a time too close to mealtimes — or you’ll lose people to their microwaves. Be respectful of not monopolizing people’s days. And if you’re inviting people from different time zones (after all, this is the year you can have anyone and everyone you’ve ever loved in one — albiet virtual — place), be sure you pick an hour that isn’t too late or too early for the guests.
If you’re like my mother and think eating birthday cake in front of everyone (without a slice) is rude, you can suggest they bring along their own favorite treats, so it feels like you’re all together. (Or just plough in, it is your birthday, after all.)
Think carefully about that invite list: Who knows who, what personalities work well together and what do folks who haven’t met have in common? The simple answer to that last question is: you. So, your next step is figuring out how this group of people can pass the time together, and, again, that should probably be centered on what they have in common — again, you. So ask folks to introduce themselves and (if you’re brave enough) share a funny or embarassing story about yourself. It’s a nice way to get people laughing, talking about someone they all know and (I assume) love, without it starting to sound like a eulogy. You can also end with a short game as a sign off — like a round-robin story where everyone contributes one sentence with their goodbye.
Just be sure to keep your guests’ tendencies in mind: If you’re inviting a bunch of talkers, you can let people speak up on their own (so long as they don’t scream over each other). If they’re a quieter bunch, you might want to call names – and regardless, that’s a nice way to get the party started. (You can even let a close friend or two know you’re going to start with them, so you can get rolling on a high note.)
If everyone enjoys singing or another particular activity, you can incorporate that – but just be sure if you’re an opera star and inviting someone who is (um, well, not), you don’t make anyone feel uncomfortable. (You’ll know when people’s faces start blinking to darkened squares.) And speaking of appearances, just because you don’t have to clean the house, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make an effort with a nice, festive background – via real decorations or your own Zoom creation.
For kids (and more festive adults, too), you can also go for a multi-tiered birthday celebration: in-person activities at home with the members of your household, as well as online or drive-by activities with friends. At home, endow your birthday celebrant with “magic powers” for the day – the chance to pick each meal and all the family activities. (Get ready for a few more sweets and even more noise than usual.)
Not sure how to fill time online with your kid’s friends? You could hire virtual entertainment. There are still music classes and magicians and clowns, and they offer virtual shows. (The website Mommy Poppins has a good list.) Or, if you don’t have the budget to hire a clown, you could always consider putting the red nose on yourself – and practice your juggling beforehand. (Unless you want the kids laughing at you.) Just be sure to keep any virtual party short and sweet – say one hour, with a start and end time. And to keep on schedule, signal that the call is wrapping up by introducing one final activity – phrases like “before we say goodbye,” or “we have just a few more minutes to do X” will cue that the party is coming to a close. (Both you and the other parents on the call will appreciate it.)
Or, if your kid feels like he’s at school every time he looks at his friends through a computer screen, consider taking the party to the street. Put a festive birthday sign replete with his favorite color balloons in the front yard and host a drive-by caravan, with celebrants waving, honking and throwing a requested candy from the window.
What do we do about our wedding?
Are you dreading the impending date of the day you have always dreamed about? The pandemic has ruined a lot — and has really taken a toll on weddings. Depending on cancellation fees, you may choose to postpone. (Lots of people are.) And if you want to be sure that you can celebrate in person with everyone you love, be flexible about choosing a new date — you wouldn’t want to have to re-cancel. For those who can’t afford to postpone, you can create a virtual component to the wedding, so that everyone can “be” there without actually being there. (But keep reading for the right way to do that — because while manners are changing with the pandemic, they aren’t null and void.)
For the newly engaged: Enjoy the moment — if you do it right, you’ll be engaged only once. In the interim, start talking with your partner about what you’d like for the big day, and plan slowly. With people getting vaccinated, we will soon be able to start making plans like normal. But the process could be slow. No need to rush the wedding, just to postpone later. Besides, if you plan it too soon, you might lose out on your bachelor/ bachelorette party — and those will be far more fun in the near but undated future. (And remember, if you're in a holding pattern for the big day, data suggests that you're doing it right: the later you get married, the more likely you are to stay married; adding years of courtship ahead of the big day incrementally decreases your risk of filing for divorce later.)
As for changing plans, long-held wedding decorum may no longer be applicable, especially when it comes to uninviting guests. To avoid having to retract invitations, Steve Moore, an owner of Sinclair and Moore Events in Seattle, says couples should either skip the save-the-date cards or include a disclaimer noting they plan to adhere to state and federal guidelines for gatherings. “We’ll ask in advance for your flexibility, understanding and grace,” he offered as a suggestion on what to write. Just don’t send a plethora of fake invitations, complete with parking information, just to recant later in a Facebook post with a link to your registry.
And in some places, like New York, the one-time epicenter of the pandemic in the United States, large marriage ceremonies will be allowed starting March 15 — with strict measures in place, of course. Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo plans to release guidance about how such events can go forward, and any such weddings will additionally need to be approved by local health departments. Up to 150 guests could attend — with proof of negative test results, and venues would be capped at 50 percent (or, again, up to 150 people).
No matter what, be sure you are clear when communicating with your guests about any changes. A simple online blast, while effective, may not be sufficient. (You don’t want a guest showing up just because she has the good sense to detox from social media.) Depending on the size of the guest list, you can call, or send a text or an email — or depending on the timing and nature of the changed plans, you can send a “you are cordially uninvited to my wedding” card. (A disappointed selfie of the couple could at least bring a few laughs along with the dis-invite.) But soon-to-be-married couples: make sure to emphasize that the change in plans is not because you don’t love the person but because you do. And you can always tack on the promise of a second “to be determined” invitation. After all, with the stress you’ve been under, your first or second wedding anniversary might just call for a big party — when you can host without all of the pressure. (Paper and cotton gifts may not cut it in a post-pandemic world.)
And if you really don’t want to cancel, you could try to host a wedding over Zoom at the planned location or somewhere else — or switch it up to a drive-in theater). Or, just invite the people closest to you (that’s often both immediate families and best friends, not all of your sorority sisters — unless you really are that person) to celebrate face-to-face, making sure they all get tested before you gather. (“Please bring a gift and proof of Covid test.”) #Covidwedding has 336,000 Instagram posts and counting.
What about a funeral?
There are steps you can take to treat the dead with dignity.
If someone you love is in hospice or nearing the end, start planning. Death is always logistical. Now, it’s even more so. Call a few funeral homes to ask about their pricing and procedure, and check your state laws on gathering size restrictions.
If your religion mandates you bury someone within a specific period of time, turn to a religious leader for help. They will have worked with other people in your situation, and should have suggestions about how to cope.
As much as you would like to honor your loved one in your traditional ways, the changed world has also, of course, affected funeral services. Consider the risk of a funeral gathering, and the comfort levels and health concerns of those who would like to attend. You may choose to host a memorial over Zoom or organize a smaller one in-person, or schedule a service at a later date. You could even pick a later date that has a special meaning to that person (their birthday, for example).
As for grieving? It’s going to be hard. You cannot hug your friends, and you cannot have them over. But with technology, you can virtually lean on your community. Maybe that’s just regular phone calls to your support network over the first few weeks. Or maybe that’s a Zoom shiva or wake. If you decide on the videoconferencing route, ask everyone to show up with a memory or a poem to share. Call on people one by one.
Science and Health
What is the difference between the coronavirus and Covid-19?
A coronavirus is a type of virus. There are lots of common coronaviruses, which are basically just forms of a cold.
This coronavirus — the coronavirus — is novel. It causes Covid-19, a disease. The 19 signifies 2019, the year when it started. The two terms are used interchangeably in conversation, but actually mean slightly different things.
I keep hearing about droplets, aerosol clouds and surface contamination. What does this thing attach to, how does it get around and how would I get it?
If you were to share saliva with someone — kiss, drink from the same cup — you could obviously get the disease. But it’s not just direct contact that can cause transmission. After pressure from researchers, the W.H.O. conceded that the virus can be transmitted through particles that can linger in the air for hours after an infected person has left.
The nastiest recent revelation is, perhaps, that flushing a toilet can also spread the virus throughout a bathroom.
There is some good news, though. After months of sanitizing our groceries, packages and mail, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said that the risk of catching the coronavirus from a surface is low.
What does the virus do to my body?
In the beginning, the coronavirus seemed like it was primarily a respiratory illness — many patients had fever and chills, were weak and tired, and coughed a lot. Those who seemed sickest had pneumonia or acute respiratory distress syndrome — which caused their blood oxygen levels to plummet — and received supplemental oxygen. In severe cases, they were placed on ventilators to help them breathe.
By now, doctors have identified many more symptoms and syndromes. (And some people don’t show many symptoms at all.) In April, the C.D.C. added to the list of early signs sore throat, fever, chills and muscle aches. Gastrointestinal disturbances, such as diarrhea and nausea, have also been observed.
Another telltale sign of infection may be a sudden, profound diminution of one’s sense of smell and taste. Teenagers and young adults in some cases have developed painful red and purple lesions on their fingers and toes — nicknamed “Covid toe" — but few other serious symptoms.
More serious cases can lead to inflammation and organ damage, even without difficulty breathing. There have been cases of dangerous blood clots, strokes and brain impairments.
What are my chances of getting sick?
If you’ve recently been exposed to someone with a confirmed case of Covid-19, you should take the following precautions.
A known exposure means you’ve been in close contact (within six feet) of an infected person for 15 minutes or more. You should qaurantine if you’ve cared for a person with Covid-19, shared food or utensils with them, or you think they may have coughed or sneezed on you. (The only exception to this is if you’ve already had the virus during the past 90 days. Then you are probably protected and don’t need to quarantine.)
You have three options for quarantine, which means staying home and away from others until you know you haven’t contracted the virus.
14-day quarantine: This is the safest and most reliable way to ensure that you don’t spread the virus to others after a potential exposure to it. Stay home for 14 days and monitor your health. You can still be around members of your household, but you should try to minimize contact with them, wear a mask and avoid sharing food and utensils if possible. Isolation at home is typically recommended only if you are infected with the virus. But if you live with a vulnerable person at high risk for complications from Covid-19, you may want to take additional precautions at home as well.
10-day quarantine: Federal health officials have said 10 days is a reasonable amount of time to spend in quarantine after coming into contact with an infected person, if you do not experience symptoms. Choose this option if your exposure was brief and 14-days of quarantine imposes a hardship. You should still monitor your health for four days after quarantine and avoid contact with vulnerable people. As always, wear a mask following your 10-day quarantine.
7-day quarantine with testing: Combining quarantine with virus testing allows you to reduce the quarantine time and minimize your risk of venturing out into the world too soon after a potential exposure. The C.D.C. recommends that if you choose this option, you should get tested on day five or later after the potential exposure. Once you have a negative test, you can leave quarantine after 7 days. You can take a rapid test or a P.C.R. test on Day 5 or later. If you want to be extra careful, take a few more rapid tests after Day 7 to give yourself peace of mind that you aren’t spreading the virus to others.
In fact, you can combine any of the above options with testing for extra security. (Scroll to our questions: "How do I get tested? How long do tests take to come back?" and "I’m asymptomatic but was exposed to someone with the virus. Should I get tested?" for more on getting tested.)
If I am sick, how will I know?
If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think that you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on how to get tested and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that if you’re sick or think you’re sick, but only mildly ill, you should isolate yourself, and you shouldn’t leave your house except to go to the doctor.
But a lot of people get the coronavirus without showing many, or any, symptoms. That’s why you should always wear a mask outside your home — the only surefire way to know you don’t have it is to get a test. And tests are not always reliable. Go to the next question for more information about testing.
How do I get tested? How long do tests take to come back?
You can find testing sites across the country — including at some hospitals, urgent care clinics, pharmacies and doctor’s offices. Even some churches, fire stations and airports provide testing. And some airlines including American Airlines, United Airlines, JetBlue and Hawaiian Airlines also offer tests for passengers heading to certain destinations.
But while testing certainly helps limit spread, it’s not a catch-all defense against the virus. Tests are not always accurate.
A positive test means you need to isolate and cancel any plans, but even a negative test is not a free pass. It can give you some reassurance, but you still need to take all precautions, including wearing a mask and keeping your distance. Even the most reliable tests can have a high false negative rate, depending on the timing of the test — and you may also contract the virus between taking the test and getting the result.
Covid-19 takes up to 14 days to incubate, and, in that time, you may test negative and show no symptoms — even as you’re passing it to people around you. In fact, about half of transmissions occur before people notice their symptoms. And the accuracy of your test results depends greatly on when you get tested — because the virus needs time to replicate in your body before any test can detect it.
So if you got tested the day after you were infected, one study in the medical journal Annals of Internal Medicine showed your test results would yield a false negative every time. And while results show greatly diminishing false negatives in the early days after symptom onset, they tick back up on the backend of the illness.
The type of test you get, as well as the case count and backlog in your geographic location can affect the timing of your results — as well as the results themselves. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration considers molecular tests (PCR tests) that detect the virus’s genetic material to be “typically highly accurate" although it takes longer to get the results back (maybe a few days because samples must be sent to a lab), and you could be infected in the interim. Meanwhile, antigen tests (many of the rapid tests) are used to detect certain proteins on the surface of the virus. Although you can get results back in under an hour, a false negative is more likely and the F.D.A. suggests that those with “negative results may need to be confirmed with a molecular test."
Companies like CareCube and Pixel by LabCorp, don't even require you to leave your home. They will mail you a test and you mail your sample back. They promise results within 12 to 34 hours and 36 hours, respectively. (JetBlue also has a partnership with Vault Health for mail-in tests.)
And remember: The purpose of testing is to safely separate people who test positive from the rest of society to limit the number of infections ... not to go back to living like the the good old days of 2019.
I’m asymptomatic but was exposed to someone with the virus. Should I get tested?
Yes, get tested! If you have been exposed to the virus, you could also be contagious — even if you don't notice any symptoms.
The safest and most reliable way to ensure that you don’t spread the virus to others after a potential exposure is to quarantine at home for 14 days, while monitoring your health and getting tested. (There are also 10- and 7-day quarantine options for those who cannot follow the C.D.C.'s preference for a 14-day quarantine. For more information about those option scroll up to the question: "What are my chances of getting sick?")
As asymptomatic and pre-symptomatic transmission is possible, testing helps identify people who might be unintentionally spreading the disease because they feel just fine. Therefore quick testing and identification is paramount to containing the spread. The C.D.C. reminds you: "Pending test results, you should self-quarantine/isolate at home and stay separated from household members to the extent possible and use a separate bedroom and bathroom, if available."
Even if you test negative, one negative test doesn't mean you're in the clear. The time between possible transmission and testing is important for detecting the disease.
See the question above for more information about getting tested and the types of tests you can get, as well as the accuracy of those tests. And skip down to the question "If I am exposed to the virus, do I need to quarantine?" for more information about what to do if you have come into contact with someone with Covid-19.
When should I go to the hospital?
In general, going to the hospital should not be your first interaction with a doctor.
If you’re feeling sick, speak with a medical professional over the phone and get a test. If you can, consult with a doctor before you go to a medical center or the hospital — they may have insights or suggestions.
As soon as symptoms start, mark the days. Although most patients recover in about a week, a significant minority of patients enter “a very nasty second wave" of illness, said Dr. Ilan Schwartz, assistant professor of infectious diseases at the University of Alberta. “After the initial symptoms, things plateau and maybe even improve a little bit, and then there is a secondary worsening."
What precautions do pregnant people need to take?
If you or a loved one is pregnant right now, congratulations! This crazy world could use every bit of new joy it can get. We hope you’re having an easy ride.
This is, though, probably a stressful time to be pregnant, especially since there’s so much that’s still uncertain. Here’s what we know:
Pregnant people might be at increased risk from severe illness from Covid-19, according to the C.D.C. Pregnant people might also be at risk of interruptions to their pregnancies, such as a preterm birth. And a study of pregnant Black and Latino people in Philadelphia shows they have an increased chance of being exposed to the coronavirus, which bolsters other research showing that the coronavirus disproportionately affects Black and Latino people.
Experts are cautiously optimistic that the coronavirus won’t alter fetal development, although one study found strong evidence that a baby was infected with the virus in the womb. A more common concern is that the parent carrying the child is at increased risk of suffering complications if infected. Pregnancy is already a stressor on the lungs and cardiovascular system, and the immune system changes significantly during the course of carrying a baby.
So. Just as raising a child takes a village, though, it will be a community effort to keep this new baby safe before it’s born. As a family, take extra precautions to protect the pregnancy. Keep your mask on. Socially distance whenever possible.
Importantly, though, keep your appointments. Talk to your doctor about how to safely come in for vaccines and check-ups, or whether remote visits are an option. That’s more important now than ever.
Preventative Measures and Treatment
If I am exposed to the virus, do I need to quarantine? What if I've done something high-risk for exposure like flying or participating in a protest?
Yes, if you think you've been exposed to the virus, you should start quarantining, meaning you don't leave home except for medical attention, other emergencies or perhaps to get tested. (Remember, quarantining is different than self-isolating, which is what people infected with the coronavirus must do, meaning that they have to stay away from others, even the people in their own homes.)
If you've done something that may have put you at a higher risk for contracting the virus (like attending a protest or traveling by plane), quarantining and getting tested are the most responsible options — even if you don't have any specific concerns about the people near you. (And in some places, like New York, flying requires the traveler to quarantine for 10 days, or a shorter time period after two negative test results about four days before and after the flight.) A negative test is not a guarantee that you're Covid-free, but it's a good precaution to lower the chance that you'll unknowingly infect others.
For those who worry about potential exposure, the C.D.C. has amended its quarantining recommendations. While the agency still says that quarantining for 14 days is the safest option, in December the C.D.C. proposed two easier alternatives.
If you don’t have symptoms, you can quarantine for 10 days — or cut that time down to seven, followed by a negative test for the virus. (Your P.C.R. or rapid test should be taken within 48 hours of the end of your quarantine.) You should also continue monitoring yourself for symptoms, and taking precautions like wearing a mask and social distancing.
The C.D.C. also reminds us that “you can be infected and spread the virus but feel totally well and have no symptoms." Remember, while studies have found that the median incubation period of the virus is five days, and a vast majority of people develop symptoms within 11.5 days of being exposed, some patients show symptoms as early as two days and some as late as two weeks after being infected — and still others never notice symptoms at all.
So, if you do exit quarantine early, you may feel fine and still accidentally pass along the virus to Uncle Harold. Additionally, depending on when along that timeline you get tested, you could come up with a false negative — because the virus may not have yet sufficiently replicated in order to be detected. (Your test is more likely to be accurate in the early days after symptom onset, but drop again on the backend of the illness.)
Why do masks work?
The coronavirus clings to droplets and enters and exits the body through any wet tissue (your eyes, nostrils, mouth). That’s why people are wearing masks and eyeshields. They’re like an umbrella for your body — keeping your droplets in and other people’s droplets out.
But masks work only if you wear them properly. The mask should cover your face from the bridge of your nose to under your chin, and should stretch almost to your ears. Be sure there are no gaps — that sort of defeats the purpose, no?
What should I consider when choosing a mask?
Masks are still necessary — and even more so with several variants of the virus emerging. (In fact, nowadays, you should consider a mask with an extra filter sandwiched between two pieces of cloth or at least doubling-up on masks.)
There's no one-mask fits all, however: the size of your head and other facial features, as well as your environment and what you plan to do while wearing your mask (walk down the street, work a full day in construction) is going to change what you're looking for. (And there are a lot of stylish options, as well as N-95s and other medical masks. You can even make them yourself — just be sure you consider the best material to use.)
But after extensive research, along with fit and comfort testing, we are recommending a few adjustable cloth masks that fit most people. And be sure to also check out our recommendations for children's masks — they're even kid-approved. (That's right they were tested by a panel of children ages 3 to 10.) Just remember, like with all clothing and accessories, it needs to be something you'll actually wear — and wear properly. After all, you should be wearing it whenever you leave the house — even if you have already been vaccinated. (We don't yet know if vaccinated people can still spread the virus.)
And, of course, no matter what mask you chose, be sure to:
-Wash your hands before and after wearing your mask, and pull it off by the loops or ties (don't pull from the cloth front).
-Be sure you're putting it on before you leave home (for those in apartments, that means wearing it in communal hallways, stairwells and elevators) and taking it off when you're back inside.
-Keep your reusable mask in a clean, dry place and clean it frequently. (Here's a guide for how to clean your mask.
-Remember, your mask is only one part of your safety plan. Again, wash your hands often and keep to social distancing measures. (That's six feet apart.)
By now, it should go without saying, but apparently — for Bill Clinton who has famously worn it tucked under his nose and simple drawings to guide you — and be sure your mask covers your face from nose to chin, doesn't gape at the edges and can be worn for an extended period of time without being pulled down. Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo of New York said it best: no chin-guards, please.
What about gloves? Should I wear them too?
Not really. Gloves become a second skin. They themselves could become contaminated (don’t touch your face!) and depending on how they’re made, they might have holes.
Gloves may be helpful if someone in your household becomes sick, so you can reduce the amount of times you have to wash your hands. But you will have to change the gloves every time you leave their room or interact with the sick person — and after removing the gloves, too (because chances are, you're touching the gloves to remove them, or do you know a trick we don't?).
The most effective intervention is still washing your hands thoroughly, for at least 20 seconds, every time you enter your home.
Why is six feet away the right distance?
The coronavirus spreads primarily through droplets from your mouth and nose, especially when you cough or sneeze. Six feet has never been a magic number that guarantees complete protection. The C.D.C., one of the organizations using that measure, bases its recommendation on the idea that most large droplets that people expel when they cough or sneeze will fall to the ground within six feet.
But some scientists have looked at studies of air flow and are concerned about smaller particles called aerosols. They suggest that people consider a number of factors, including their own vulnerability and whether they are outdoors or in an enclosed room, when deciding whether six feet is enough distance.
Sneezes, for instance, can launch droplets a lot farther than six feet, according to a recent study.
It's a rule of thumb: You should be safest standing six feet apart outside, especially when it's windy. But keep a mask on at all times, even when you think you’re far enough apart.
Should I get a regular flu shot?
Dr. Rossi A. Hassad wrote in MedPage Today that the Covid-19 pandemic could mirror the influenza pandemic of 1918 if we ignore public health measures.
As in other years, tens of thousands of people are expected to die from the flu this go-round. (The C.D.C. keeps this
What we know about the flu, which has a rubbery membrane coat similar to that of Covid-19, can inform us about the dangers and precautions we should take against the virus — because although there are differences between the flu and the coronavirus, both illnesses can produce similar symptoms including fever, cough, shortness of breath and fatigue that can be extreme.
Translation: while we should always get our annual flu shot, this year it's more important than ever. The worrisome flu strains change every year, and the influenza vaccine is safe and effective — so why not? And depending on where you live, it may be pretty easy to get a flu shot: Some places, like certain NYC Health + Hospitals locations in the city, provide free flu shots along with free coronavirus tests — no insurance necessary.
And for those sniffly doubters who claim to still get the flu after the shot anyway — while you're blowing your nose, keep in mind that the illness is likely to be significantly less severe than it would have been without the vaccine. (As for those who feel icky for just a day or two after injection, that's actually a good sign. Your antibodies are kicking in!)
Does the virus live in clothes and hair?
Probably not. If you are practicing social distancing and making only occasional trips to the grocery store or pharmacy, experts say that it’s not necessary to change clothes or take a shower when you return home. You should, however, always wash your hands upon entering your home.
The same advice goes for head and facial hair: If you practice social distancing and wash your hands frequently, you probably don’t need to worry.
I have the coronavirus. What should I expect my recovery to look like?
For starters, we're really sorry you're sick and hope you feel better soon. There's no one-recovery-for-all handbook, unfortunately. But if you are at home and looking for a few tips, take a look at this how to.
Some people show none or few symptoms, and find out they have been infected only when they test positive for antibodies. And there’s a range of experiences in between. We all recover at different rates, and some of us are still struggling to do so many months later. If you're still feeling ill — even long after you have technically recovered — you're not alone and you should be taken seriously. (You can quote us on that, if you'd like.)
And you can quote that guy Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, the nation’s top infectious diseases expert, too: “This is a phenomenon that is really quite real and quite extensive,” he said in December at a conference dedicated to issues regarding long-term Covid-19.
These longterm symptoms include fatigue, joint pain, breathing trouble, depression and brain fog, which can make it difficult to string a coherent sentence together — along with other cognitive and psychological problems. Some have also experienced exercise intolerance and are unable to catch their breath during aerobic activity. (By the way, if you're recovering from Covid-19, you should really take your time returning to exercise.)
We don't yet know how many people have prolonged symptoms in the postviral stage, but some estimates expect that one in three Covid-19 patients will experience lingering symptoms. Dr. John Brooks, the chief medical officer of the C.D.C.’s Covid response, estimated that it could be “on the order of tens of thousands in the United States and possibly hundreds of thousands.” And Dr. Ann Parker, who co-directs a post-Covid clinic at Johns Hopkins, notes that about three months after their acute illness, "more than half of our patients have at least a mild cognitive impairment.” She also noted "substantial mental health impairments.”
The good news? (And yes, we do have a bit here.) At Mount Sinai Hospital, which opened the country's first Center for Post-Covid Care in May, most patients have recovered — with time.
Which brings us to this: No matter where you are on your road to recovery, remember that as in life, there is no real timeline (and it's definitely not linear), so don't push yourself to meet hypothetical goals, and be patient with yourself and others who are recovering and/ or helping you to do so. Go at the pace that feels comfortable for you and don't push yourself beyond your limits. (Only you can set these.) You may have arduous physical rehabilitation ahead.
And again, you're not alone. You can join virtual support groups like Body Politic to share advice. Several of our staff have also shared their experiences with longterm recovery from Covid-19. In a personal narrative, Mara Gay, a member of The Times’s editorial board, wrote that weeks after technically recovering, she was still using inhalers and "can't walk more than a few blocks without stopping." And our reporter Laura M. Holson has also had a long and strenuous recovery, writing that her experience with prolonged symptoms has been like facing death — twice.
But they are surviving the pandemic, and so are you. Just don't forget, as you continue surviving, you're going to need what Ms. Gay calls her "small army of people who are helping me heal."
How I Can Help
What can I do to stop the spread?
Wear a mask and stay far away from other people. Self-isolate and take a coronavirus test if you are potentially infected. Get vaccinated as soon as you can. That’s it. That’s the tweet.
Can I give blood?
You can. Transfusions are still needed for cases like organ transplants or complications of childbirth.
The American Red Cross is collecting donations at blood banks, which have enacted new safety measures to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. Those measures include checking the temperatures of staff members and donors before they enter a drive facility, providing hand sanitizer for use before and during the donation process, enhancing their disinfection of surfaces and equipment, and spacing beds — when possible — to enable social distancing between donors.
And even if you’re under a stay-at-home order, donating blood is an essential need, so public health officials have made an exception for your trip to the center.
I’ve recovered from Covid-19. How do I donate plasma?
Plasma is, basically, the liquid part of your blood: it’s light yellow and about 92 percent water. Any antibodies that your body creates are contained in the plasma. Once you’ve recovered, or convalesced, from a given virus, those antibodies stick around in your plasma for a certain amount of time, ready to fight that virus if it comes back.
If you have antibodies, your convalescent plasma can be transfused into a patient still battling the disease.
To qualify, donors must pass normal blood-donation requirements and be symptom-free of Covid-19 for at least 14 days, and, in most cases, must have positive results from a test. (Other restrictions may apply, depending on the organization.)
Many health care institutions nationwide are involved in plasma donations, including the Red Cross, so to find a location near you go to the website for the National Covid-19 Convalescent Plasma Project or visit the Red Cross’s website.
Where should I donate money?
If you are looking to give money to those who need it most, you may want to consider an organization that provides food or helps with medical efforts.
You can also consider giving to local businesses and families in need directly. Or helping your neighbors in ways that are not necessarily monetary.
I want to help other families with school-age kids. How?
This is still a hard time for all of us — but some more than others. And if you're in a position to help, an increasing number of people are in need of it. You can offer a helping hand, either through donations or volunteering.
If you have children, involve them by asking their opinions on where they think you should focus your resources. They can also help raise money by hosting a socially distant bake sale or starting an online fund-raising campaign. And if you can afford it, a recurring monthly commitment — set up with an automatic withdrawal from your bank account or credit card — makes it easy for your family to commit for the long run. (Charity Navigator has a list of vetted nonprofit organizations that are working in communities affected by the outbreak.)
One place of particular need could be at your local school. We could have a generation of children teaching themselves and falling further behind — because some students still don't have access to the basic materials they need (laptops, a stable internet connection) to learn remotely.
You may consider giving to EveryoneOn, which provides families with programs for low-cost internet or access to affordable devices, or National Digital Inclusion Alliance, a nonprofit organization that urges the importance of internet access for all and has a list of local organizations working toward digital inclusion. Also, Comp-U-Dopt refurbishes used computers and gives them to children in cities across the country. For $215, the organization can obtain a computer, overhaul it, deliver it and provide two years of tech support and training. And for school supplies, you may donate to First Book, a national nonprofit that provides free or inexpensive books and learning materials to children who need them.
Finally, we could all use more positive people in our lives right now — from a distance, of course. One organization in New York, the New Neighbors Partnership, connects refugee families with those who have slightly older kids. You can mail your clothing donations directly to the family or hand-deliver them (accompanied by staff). You never know, a relationship starting with a few hand-me-downs could lead to a continuing connection with another family for years to come.
Is it safe to return to life as (kind of) normal?
Please practice caution no matter where you live. At this time, it is just not safe to jump back into the world with two feet, especially if you are in an area where cases are surging.
And in many states, that's the situation. Many re-openings have been followed by a surge of new cases. When you do visit businesses or are otherwise out and about, maintain your social distance and keep your mask on. Just because many Americans are bored of the pandemic, doesn’t mean it’s over.
Which doctor visits should I be avoiding? When should I still go?
Taking care of your health is important and keeping up with vaccinations, screenings, dental care and other appointments shouldn’t be delayed. Things of course have changed: You’ll need to check with the medical office first and take some basic precautions, like wearing a mask and arriving early for fever checks and screening questions.
If you experience symptoms or an injury that would have required an emergency room visit before, you should still seek emergency care. (Remember, the E.R. is for life-threatening situations like chest pain, numbness or tingling that could signal stroke, breathing difficulties or serious injuries.)
If you have or believe you have Covid-19, you should call to check in with your doctor, especially if you are in a high-risk category. Most of the time, you’ll be advised to monitor your symptoms at home, including checking your oxygen levels with a home fingertip pulse oximeter. If your oxygen level goes to 93 percent or lower, seek medical care. If you have trouble breathing or experience other concerning symptoms, contact your doctor or go to the nearest E.R.
As for non-emergency medical needs, you have a few options. One of the best things we’ve learned during the pandemic is that doctors and patients can accomplish a lot with telehealth — online video medical visits. And if case counts are rising in your area and hospitals are overwhelmed, doctors may need to delay some care, particularly elective procedures.
But don’t make the decision to skip out on important medical care without talking to your doctor first. Medical offices are taking extensive precautions to keep everyone — the staff and the patients — safe from the virus, and chances are that you will be able to keep your appointment. Call ahead to learn how your medical providers are handling the inflow of patients. (Here are questions to be sure to ask, as well as a set of guidelines, courtesy of the Mayo Clinic.)
Many people have already delayed doctor visits — and in some cases that can be dangerous. In May almost half of American adults say they or someone they live with had put off medical visits, according to data collected by the Kaiser Family Foundation. (Hospitals have also rescheduled at different points of the pandemic.)
It shouldn’t need to be said, but apparently it needs to be said: don’t avoid the doctor or hospital if you truly need their services. In April emergency medical services in Newark made 239 on-scene death pronouncements — four times the number that time last year — and less than half directly tied to Covid-19, meaning the virus may be indirectly taking the lives of many more, who may not be going to the doctor either out of fear or because they suddenly find themselves uninsured.
On the other hand, while demand for face-lifts sky-rocketed this summer, now is probably not the best time for one. We’ve all seen you on Zoom. You’re not fooling anyone anyway.
How should I decide where and how to go to stores?
The increasing moves to reopen businesses reflect the immense political and societal pressures weighing on the nation’s governors, even as epidemiologists remain cautious.
Since the spring, a lot of businesses have learned how to welcome customers safely. Temperature checks at the door probably don’t do much, but mandatory masks and limits on the number of people who can enter at one time do.
In general, here are things to keep in mind:
-If you have a choice between outside and inside, choose outside. You’re less likely to contract the virus or give it to others when you're outdoors; the virus can hang in the still indoor air for hours. And if you have to go inside, wear a mask as much as you possibly can.
-To reduce your risk of exposure, consider what most people will be doing at various businesses. (Where are people going to feel most at ease, and where will they most want to get close to one another and remove their masks? At a store, can you do your best to get in and get out? How bad are the lines?)
-For maximum protection, avoid businesses that require some socializing, because it's harder to follow safety guidelines in those places. Gyms are inherently germy, working out in a mask is hard and people may take off their masks in locker rooms. Dining in restaurants is also tricky: Tables are close, and you’re eating so you have to take your mask off to take a bite. Meanwhile, people's inhibitions are lowered at bars, where the alcohol is flowing. (And we have more about each of these places in further questions.)
Is it safe to go grocery shopping?
We’ve all learned how to safely grocery shop during the pandemic — wear a mask, avoid crowds, keep the trip short and wash your hands (when you get home and after you’ve unpacked groceries). While it may feel like a more hazardous time to shop compared with earlier months of the pandemic, the level of risk varies across the country. Your risk of crossing paths with an infected person is higher when an indicator called the test positivity rate is above 5 percent in your community.
Case counts and test positivity rates have risen across the country, which is why everyone needs to take precautions. But in some places, while precautions are needed and numbers have newly risen, it’s still not as bad as it once was. For instance, New York City’s test positivity rate now falls just below 9 percent, meaning your risk is lower compared with last April, when the rate was close to 70 percent.
To find out how your state is doing, use this chart from Johns Hopkins University. And to find the test positivity rate in your community, check your state or county health department's website or try the Covid Act Now website.
What about getting a haircut?
You could, if only for the story, do it yourself. A buzz cut is … possible, although perhaps ill-advised. And that beard you've been carefully cultivating? Chances are it’s time you rethink that unkempt look. (Doubtful? Just ask your partner, trusted friend, or that reflection in the mirror. They're not lying.)
Fixing our hair is a rich and beloved form of self-care. Even when you’re visible only on Zoom, split ends and straggly edges can crimp your confidence. When barbershops reopened in New York City, people came rushing back.
In fact, even before barbershops could reopen there, Herman James, a barber in Manhattan, set up his shop under a leaf-laced pergola in Central Park, offering free haircuts to anyone who passed by. (Tips are appreciated.) So for those not yet ready to enter a salon but very ready to have their hair cut, make an appointment with the Central Park Barber, who as of late January could still be spotted on warmer days cutting hair by the lake just north of Strawberry Fields. (Wintry weather may affect appointment times.) He wears a mask and has a chair waiting for you.
And if you opt for a salon, make sure that both you and the person doing your hair are wearing masks. They have to get close to you, so be extra careful. Also, unless you’re getting your hair done outside, make sure the windows are open and there is good ventilation, to keep air moving through the space.
To keep yourself safe, shampoo your hair at home, so your stylist doesn’t have to bend over you. Wait for the appointment outside and keep the appointment short. (Yep, skip the blowdry.) And if you're getting your hair colored, step outside while the chemicals are taking, and wash your own hair out. As for those going in for a shave — go for a not-so-close shave, or unloop one ear at a time, holding your mask to your face. Safety first. Vanity second.
What about the dentist?
Taking care of your pearly whites is not just a good beauty habit; it’s also essential for your health. With all the baking and drinking we’ve been doing during lockdown, you’re going to need a visit sooner rather than later. In fact, that’s part of the reason economists are using dentists as a bellwether for comfort about reopening writ large.
Dentists have mobilized and are ready to accommodate visitors. Dentists and hygienists should wear head-to-toe personal protective equipment and change between appointments.
Getting the first appointment of the day may also limit risk, though many dentists said they are seeing fewer patients so they have more time to disinfect rooms between visits. But the risk might be more to the providers than it is to the patients; they keep their mask on while you take yours off.
What about laundromats?
In confined spaces, droplets spread. The C.D.C. suggests that, while doing the laundry of a sick person, you should wear gloves and try not to shake the clothing, to minimize the possibility of dispersing the virus through the air. If possible, wash items using the warmest water setting, and dry thoroughly. But you can wash their laundry with everyone else’s.
That being said, the C.D.C. also says that surfaces contaminated with droplets of the virus can infect people, it is “not thought to be the main way the virus spreads." We know that’s contradictory information. Safe is always better than sorry, though, and if you’re living with someone sick, it’s always good to take precautions.
At the laundromat, if you leave your home to wash your clothes, don’t hang out in the room between cycles. Sit in your car or lounge outside as you wait, just for social distancing purposes.
How about gyms?
You can apply the stereotypes of sweaty locker rooms to your local gym. (After all, why are the locker rooms so gross in the first place?) By their very nature, athletic facilities like gyms tend to be infested with germs, and gym equipment can be difficult to sanitize. In a study published last year, researchers found drug-resistant bacteria, flu virus and other pathogens on about a quarter of the surfaces they tested in four different athletic training facilities. (When cleaned the right way, germs in gyms can fall almost to nil — but that assumes everyone is following the rules and doesn't take into consideration other health risks beyond the equipment.)
When weighing whether to head back to your gym, remember it's a confined space, and exercising with a mask on is hard. If you think you can manage, be sure to check the health and safety policies in place at your gym before heading over. You can also take additional measures to keep both you and those around you even safer. Clean any grime or dust from surfaces, then disinfect anything you touch. When spraying a disinfectant, give it a few minutes to kill the germs before wiping down the equipment. Once you've finished using a machine, disinfect it again for the next person. And be sure to wash your hands frequently, or use hand sanitizer.
After a five-month closure, gyms in New York reopened in August — to a long list of regulations, including a required health screening ahead of check-in, mandatory mask usage during workouts, and lots and lots of cleaning. (Occupancy is limited to one-third of total capacity.)
If all of this talk about pathogen-covered equipment is giving you the creepy crawlies, consider a safer alternative: exercising outside. Even in the dead of winter, many New Yorkers can still be spotted bundled, masked and jogging around Central Park. Your risk of infection is lessened and on sunny days, you get the added benefit of Vitamin D — an essential immune system-strengthener that helps combat the cold and flu.
But if you just can't brave the cold, you can also stream online exercise classes from home. (One gym in Long Island, N.Y., created a new type of fitness community called Life Outside the Box, lending its equipment to members to use in their homes and offering virtual fitness coaching. And there are many other personalized workouts you can purchase, as well.) A cheaper option? Set up a corner of your home and lay out a yoga mat. Either way, you're making the world safer, and if you forgo the personal trainer, you're saving on gym fees, too.
Socializing and Friends
Why is it safer to spend time together outside?
By now, we know that Covid-19 is an airborne illness, with tiny droplets of the virus staying in the stagnant air for hours after an infected person has been there. Moreover, Covid-19’s fatty outer membrane becomes rubbery in cold weather — easing its transmission between people whose dry and winter-damaged nasal passages are more susceptible anyway.
There are some risk factors you can't mitigate for (the weather, for instance), but others you can (like choosing to socialize indoors or outside). Your risk of contracting the virus increases when you're inside poorly ventilated and enclosed indoor spaces, where the contaminated air is recycled.
And outdoor gatherings lower risk because wind disperses viral droplets, and sunlight can kill some of the virus. Open spaces prevent the virus from building up in concentrated amounts and being inhaled, which can happen when infected people exhale in a confined space for long stretches of time, said Dr. Julian W. Tang, a virologist at the University of Leicester.
And it's all about virus load — in fact even just a light wind will quickly scatter the virus, so that people nearby will be potentially exposed in far smaller, less harmful quantities. “A single virus will not make anyone sick," said Eugene Chudnovsky, a physicist at Lehman College at the Graduate Center the City University of New York. "It will be immediately destroyed by the immune system. The belief is that one needs a few hundred to a few thousand of SARS-CoV-2 viruses to overwhelm the immune response.”
So, when in doubt, go outside and stay outside as much as possible when interacting with people not in your immediate household. And no matter what, be sure you're wearing a mask.
We know it's cold, but if you layer-up and keep moving, your body will actually acclimate pretty quickly. Pro tip: wear three layers, something wickable underneath to limit sweat, followed by fleece and finally a wind- and rain-repellant coat. Also, heed your grandmother's nagging: Be sure to cover your hands (mittens are warmer than gloves), feet (double up on socks, if you can — just don't cut off circulation when squeezing into your shoes) and head (a hat will keep as much as 10 percent of your body heat from escaping). Also, don't blow into your hands if you're cold — the moisture will end up making you feel colder. (Again, you should be wearing a mask anyway.)
If you must be indoors with people outside of your pod, then at least open the windows. That can increase the air exchange rate to as much as three times an hour — just half the rate recommended for buildings by the World Health Organization. And if it gets cold, you can crank the heater — in fact, the C.D.C. suggests putting your central air and heating on “continuous circulation.” Exhaust fans (like those over your stove or in the bathroom) can also help, but don’t turn on a regular fan — because that will simply recirculate the same, potentially contaminated air and increase everyone’s risk.
What are superspreaders?
A superspreader is someone who is incredibly infectious, passing the virus on to a disproportionate number of other people.
The good news is: They’re rare. The bad news is: they're hiding among us. And no one (even the superspreaders themselves) knows who they are. Sound like a horror movie? (Yeah, we've gotten that a lot lately.)
There was that Texas birthday party, where one man reportedly infected 17 members of his family. Plus those Biogen employees, who are believed to have infected as many as 300,000 people after a healthcare conference at the Boston Marriott Long Wharf Hotel in February 2020. And who can forget that notorious Connecticut soirée, dubbed “Party Zero"?
Of course, superspreading isn't a new concept. Ever heard of Typhoid Mary? Yep, the cook was asymptomatic but still spread the disease to more than 50 people. Superspreading has also caused outbreaks of tuberculosis, measles, Ebola, SARS and MERS.
And like other diseases, superspreading events have helped drive the coronavirus pandemic. Determining who the superspreaders are and when and where the superspreading takes place is an important part of trying to limit outbreaks. (On the other hand, there are people , and figuring out who they are and why they don't spread the disease is also important.)
While much about superspreaders remains unknown, evidence suggests that circumstances are likely to blame as opposed to biological differences between people.
Toward the beginning of the pandemic, Adam Kucharski, an epidemiologist at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, tried to determine what's called the "dispersion parameter," or the measure of variation from person to person in transmitting Covid-19. He compared cases in different countries. You’d expect the outbreaks in different places to be mostly the same size if Covid-19 was like the flu. But it's not. Instead, Dr. Kucharski and his colleagues found a wide variation: 10 percent of infected people were responsible for 80 percent of new infections — meaning most people passed the virus on to few, if any, others. He published his findings in a preprint, which had not been reviewed by other scientists or published in a scientific journal, but other epidemiologists wound up with similar estimates.
Superspreaders provide a lesson in societal interconnectivity, said Dr. Jacob E. Lemieux, an infectious-disease specialist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a researcher at the Broad Institute, who looked at the superspreading case at the Boston conference. From there, the virus spread to at least 29 states, Australia, Sweden and Slovakia — as well as Boston homeless shelters, where it had a devastating effect. “Our intuition about how disconnected we can be is not reliable," Dr. Lemieux said. "We are so connected that we don’t appreciate the linkages and interactions we have.”
So what can we do? Since you don't know if you or someone else you know could be a superspreader, it's important to be socially responsible: avoid crowds, wear a mask and social distance. And, please, don't host a soirée anytime soon.
What if I have to be indoors in a small space, like an elevator?
Are there stairs? Can you climb them? If not, or if it’s too many flights, wait until the next car with no one in it.
If an empty elevator opens and others are waiting, you can always offer that they go ahead (if you have time), or politely ask that they take the next elevator. (Just be careful of tone, no need to offend anyone while staying safe.)
Even if you are alone in the elevator, since droplets can hang in the air long after you leave, wear your mask at all times.
And whether with others or alone: no talking (even on the phone or to yourself). Keeping your mouth shut lowers the risk of you spewing coronavirus droplets into the contained space.
Can I hug my friends?
The CDC does not suggest hugging anyone outside your household. (And if you're looking for an excuse *not* to hug Great Aunt Marge, then by all means: not hugging is the safer option.)
But for those more tactically-inclined, Tara Parker-Pope, founding editor of Well, asked Linsey Marr, an aerosol scientist at Virginia Tech and one of the world’s leading experts on airborne disease transmission, what to do. Dr. Marr calculated that the risk of transmission is surprisingly low if both people are wearing a mask — in part because the duration is so brief.
“If you don’t talk or cough while hugging, the risk should be very low,” Dr. Marr said.
A few tips for lowering the risk further: Wear a mask. Do it outside. Turn your heads away from one another. Don’t linger (you don’t want to breathe into each other’s faces), and wash your hands afterward.
And, if only for the 'gram, you can make a "hug glove" with a clear tarp and sleeves to hug that special somebody. (Click.)
How can I deal with the loneliness?
Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely — but it sure can feel that way. Rates of depression were already spiking this summer when the days were long and socially distanced outdoor activities were a given. Now, as we squirm against shorter days and tighter restrictions — both those imposed by local authorities as well as those reinforced by the weather — it is more important than ever to strike a balance between our physical and mental health. (Actually they go hand-in-hand: studies suggest that loneliness can adversely affect the immune system — making those people more likely to get sick.)
These days many of us feel caught between our closing walls and rabbit hole minds. So it’s especially important to take stock of your feelings, familiarize yourself with depression’s physical and mental markers and, if you’re uncertain, consider taking this self-diagnostic test.
Andrew Solomon, a professor of medical clinical psychology at Columbia University Medical Center, explains that people’s responses to social isolation can be quartered into categories: 1. People who are generally unaffected, 2. Those with minor worry, 3. People now experiencing an anxiety disorder for the first time and 4. Those already suffering major depressive disorder but now falling into a “double depression.”
Ignoring depression can lead to substance abuse, broken relationships — and suicide. If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or go to SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources.
And remember: you’re not alone. Since the pandemic, one in three Americans have reported symptoms of an anxiety disorder — up from one in 12 shortly before. In June, Americans’ anxiety had tripled and depression had quadrupled between the first and second quarters of the year. Young adults and Black and Latino people (who have carried the brunt of the pandemic toll in loss of life and work) are experiencing upticks in anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide, according to a report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Almost 11 percent of respondents noted suicidal thoughts, with those thoughts being most acutely felt by Black and Latino people, as well as essential workers and unpaid caregivers for adults.
For those most greatly affected, professional help is suggested, but everyone can benefit from routine with time built-in for self-care. The things that brought you calm and joy in the months ahead of the pandemic may not make sense now, says Lucy Rimalower, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. So, be intentional in creating the schedule and self-care you need right now and let it change as your needs change.
Scott Kelly, a retired NASA astronaut who spent almost a year in space, has a few suggestions to stave off the boredom and develop a healthy routine — even alone. These ideas include keeping to a schedule, getting outside every day and keeping a journal — but you don't have to write about these dreary days. Happy memories are good writing material, too!
I actually … like … not seeing people. Help?
That’s really normal. For many people, the coronavirus has offered a strange respite from the pace of the world. Many of us, also, are more introverted than we previously thought.
Instead of self-flagellating, use this as an opportunity to reset. Tell someone you’re wiped out from life right now. Real friends will understand. Politely decline Zoom calls if you’re tired of them. Don’t feel like you need to eat outside with someone until you’re ready. It is a good time to take stock: Who and what is important to me, and who and what do I want in my life after all of this?
Eating and Drinking
I am not really eating normally. What should I do?
If you are eating differently, you might be able to manage the change on your own. If you are snacking a lot, that’s OK. But if it bothers you, try to assess whether you are actually hungry and, if so, try to add fruits and vegetables into your routine, if you can.
If you’re regularly not eating enough, find something you can tolerate. Schedule your mealtimes like any other essential appointment. You can also set alarms as reminders to drink some water, or to eat something.
But eating disorders can be serious, even life threatening. Roughly one in 10 Americans struggle with disordered eating, and the pandemic has created new hurdles for those managing difficult relationships with food.
“When the world feels out of control, people want to have control over something," said Jessica Gold, a psychiatrist at Washington University in St. Louis who treats patients with eating and other mental health disorders. “Often, it’s what you put in your mouth."
So if you are struggling, speak with people you trust and consider seeking professional help.
What should I do about restaurants?
Maybe a few of us have discovered our inner-callings as nightly chefs. But most of us miss going out to eat.
Restaurants have been especially hard hit: 87 percent of New York City’s restaurants and bars couldn’t pay their full rent in August, and the cold weather is keeping more and more diners away even from ellaborate outside dining contraptions.
In part an economic decision, New York City restaurants reopen to indoor diners in time for Valentine's Day, with indoor capacity capped at 25 percent, starting Feb. 12. (Outside the five boroughs, indoor dining is easier — at 50 percent capacity.)
The restaurant industry has taken a hard hit across the country — even restaurants in states allowing limited inside dining. California has lost almost 40,000 restaurants since last year — recording more restaurant closures than anywhere else in the country, according to recent Yelp figures.
But remember, as much as we're ready to head back out to eat, while spending money at local businesses is a great way to help the economy, just because a restaurant is open doesn’t mean that that restaurant is safe either for you, or for other customers and staff. The rules with outdoor dining are fuzzy: many people take their masks off when they sit down to dinner and don’t put them back on until they’ve paid the bill. That could endanger you and those around you, as well as the staff who have to bend over guests to serve them. Let’s also consider that you may not only be going out to dinner with people in your household or pod — and tables aren’t usually large enough to keep six feet of distance between you and those you're dining with. (And, of course, those same concerns only mount if you're able to and considering eating inside the actual restaurant.)
Some open restaurants have also been linked to viral spread. The food itself is not the problem. Rather, it’s customers whose laughter and talking can spew viral droplets throughout the area and all over other diners and staff.
Of course, you can always order takeout. Or, if you're tired of delivered dishes that just aren't as good as they usually taste inside the restaurant, you could try a ghost kitchen — restaurant food specifically designed for takeout. That way you can support local businesses and avoid the kitchen — without so many ethical and safety concerns.
Are those outdoor winter dining contraptions really safe?
In big cities such as New York and Chicago, tents, cabanas and wooden installations resembling large-scale dollhouses have been set up next to their mother restaurants lining the roads, taking up parking space. Diners, some bundled in parkas and shivering into their matzo ball soup, have continued eating outside even as the weather turns wintery — but not all these outdoor shelters are the same. Just because you’re cold doesn't mean you’re really eating outside — or, most importantly, that you’re gaining the benefits of that al fresco meal with a reduced Covid-19 risk. Outdoor dining has exploded in New York City — with more than 10 times the number of restaurants joining the city’s outdoor dining program than before the pandemic. (Governor Andrew Cuomo re-shut down New York City’s indoor dining Dec. 14 — with only outdoor dining, takeout and delivery now available.) And while these restaurants are supposedly bound to winter dining rules, it’s unclear how strictly this will be enforced. If you do want to eat at a restaurant and reduce your risk of contracting Covid-19, here’s what to look for: *An open, airy space. In New York, any contraption with more than 50 percent of its wall area covered is considered inside dining. That’s a good general guideline for all of us. *Even outside, tables should still be six feet apart. And you should only be dining with members of your household. *Remain careful when eating near one of those outdoor heaters, as they are considered a fire hazard.
I am drinking a lot of alcohol. Should I be worried?
Thanks for checking in. Clicking on this question is an important first step. Now, more than ever, all of our tics and bad habits are coming out to play. And drinking is a particularly hard one — with the stressors of the pandemic, a relaxing glass of wine or two at the end of the day can so easily slip into a bottle or two.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, a man who struggled with his drink and also lived through the Flu Pandemic of 1918, wrote of drinking: "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you."
It doesn't have to be January to start a dry month — if you're looking to make a change.
Of course, not all drinking is a problem. If you imbibe, it makes a lot of sense that you are drinking more now. The coronavirus can be both stressful and boring, and drinking can dull the stress of waiting without an end date. Although you might normally have enjoyed wine with friends, drinking alone — especially if you live alone — is not inherently frightening.
But we're dealing with a lot more now — working, schooling and parenting from home for many, and the drowning sense of loss of work and wages and the fear of losing even more stability for many others. It's enough to drive anyone to distraction — and to look for distraction, too.
Substance abuse experts have worried the pandemic may also trigger more serious drinking problems and even create new ones for people who have never struggled with dependency before — and data so far supports just that. Addiction — including addiction to alcohol — is at its core a disease of isolation. Feelings of loneliness can increase the risk of drug and alcohol abuse in people with substance-use disorders, according to a recent study published in Drug and Alcohol Review.
The United States was struggling with a communal drinking problem before the pandemic — the National Survey on Drug Use and Health in 2019 recorded more than 14 million American adults having alcohol-use disorder (A.U.D.), the preferable medical term for alcoholism. Now, sadly, binge drinking has ticked up during the pandemic, according to several studies. And a study by the RAND Corporation in September shows Americans drinking far more — across the board, 14 percent more often in response to pandemic-related stress, with the increase particularly noticeable in women, whose heavy drinking days shot up by 41 percent in 2020.
If you're looking to cut back, you're not alone. One poll found that 15 percent of Americans planned to participate in Dry January. But with January behind us, you can pick any month to go dry — unless you have moderate to severe A.U.D., in which case first seek medical attention, as untreated severe alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. Get rid of any alcohol from your home, as well as your ever-more-frequented virtual space (both booze-related and booze-inducing content on all your devices). Research shows that this extended time away from the bottle is the best way to get a sense of your drinking behavior — plus, it gets you on the fast-track to cutting back.
And it's not just about the libations you're cutting out of your life. It's also about the joy you're putting back into it. After all, drinking has a few benefits: diminishing tensions and inhibitions, while adding a relaxing ritual to your day. (These days with most everything at home, it's hard to find when the workday ends and the rest of life, well, just continues on.) You don't want to replace one bad habit with another, but you can replace the bottle with other activities that bring joy and relaxation to your life — they may even be healthy. Instead of reaching for the bottle, call a friend to chat or if you can't get someone on the phone, write them a letter instead. Add daily exercise to your routine. Figure out how much you're spending on alcohol and start budgeting and planning a trip for after it's safe to travel again. Make a list of books you want to read and start ticking your way through them. Pick a new television series to watch virtually with friends and talk about it after. Or find something you're passionate about and start doing it (or doing more of it). Having a few go-to's is a nice way to keep from overusing one crutch while staying motivated to push on.
Also, try to quantify your drinking. If you can't keep track, you should consider what that means and maybe try keeping a drinking journal or a simple tally. Or, if you prefer an app to help you keep track, try Drink Control or Drinks Meter, which helps you track your drinks while also contextualizing your number compared with an anonymous database of over 6,000 other people's drinking habits across the world.
“Something very interesting happens when we put things on paper,” said Laura McKowen, who once started a journal of her own to confront her drinking problem. "Because we have a lot of cognitive dissonance around drinking.”
There is no right answer as to when it’s time for you to be worried. Some questions, though, might help you get a clearer sense of the problem. Among others, you can check out the free alcohol screener from CheckUp & Choices.
And here are a few questions to consider, which are drawn from ones developed by rehabilitation facilities and medical centers: How many days a week do you drink? When you drink, how many drinks do you have? Is there a time of day that you most want to drink? Can you sleep without a drink?
What about your attitude toward drinking: Do you get angry or irritable when someone tries to take your drink away, or suggests that you may have a problem? Are you secretive about drinking?
And, primarily, have your drinking patterns changed drastically since the pandemic started? Have you had major life changes — beyond lockdown — like losing your job or the death of a relative? (You may be looking for solace from these stressors at the bottom of your glass.)
If your answer to some, or many of these questions, is yes, it may be time to step back and reconsider. And if you try a sobriety month and find that going without alcohol is painfully difficult, you could have A.U.D., which is a disease necessitating treatment and is not your fault. Check out this N.I.A.A.A. navigator to determine the right treatment for you, and then use this services locator to find the help you need.
Social settings are an important part of recovery, and many treatment centers have closed down or greatly limited their in-person meetings, with a concentrated number of closures in the Northeast, because of New York being at the epicenter of the pandemic in the United States this past spring. Although in-person meetings aren't an available option for many during the health crisis, a plethora of virtual support groups gather for meetings from the comfort of their beds or couches.
If you are looking to join a free virtual support group, there are many communities to choose from, among them: Alcoholics Anonymous, SMART Recovery, SheRecovers, In the Rooms, Eight Step Recovery, Refuge Recovery, Recovery Dharma and LifeRing.
Ms. McKowen, author of “We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life," also founded the Luckiest Club, a virtual community group with membership and classes available for people struggling with drinking. Or try the online recovery program Tempest, which has different membership options depending on the intensity of the program you choose.
Some groups are also designed for people of color or belonging to certain age groups, interests and professions — like the sobriety support group Ben’s Friends, built for those in the restaurant industry, which has a notably difficult relationship with alcohol consumption. Another one: the Sober Mom Squad. Want to date without worrying about alcohol? Try Loosid, a sober social and dating network.
Why are bars linked to outbreaks?
So a virus walks into a bar ... it sounds like the start to a bad joke, but, sadly it is no joke.
This summer, as people began once again flocking to restaurants and bars, some of those places became breeding grounds for outbreaks. And such outbreaks continued into the fall. As a result, we're still seeing restrictions into the winter, although in places like New York City that have had stringent rules, those restrictions are beginning to loosen ever so slightly.
To understand the connection between bars and outbreaks, consider a simple question: Are you your most vigilant self after a few drinks? A bar is an intimate environment, where alcohol is flowing, inhibitions are down and you often need to lean in close to hear your friend (or that cute stranger that just came up to you). But feeling good and close to strangers is so a thing of 2019 — to be revisited only when we've all been vaccinated or are at least enjoying the perks of herd immunity.
For now, when we're doing our best to keep our distance — even from our friends and loved ones — the very point of a bar setting is rindered null and void. Bars have been linked to outbreaks in several states. Louisiana health officials tied at least 100 new coronavirus cases to bars in the Tigerland nightlife district in Baton Rouge. Minnesota traced at least 328 cases to bars across the state. And in Idaho, health officials shut down bars in Ada County after reporting clusters of infections among young adults who had visited several bars in downtown Boise.
So for now, cozy up with people in your pod or household (or jump on Zoom) and pour yourself a glass of your favorite libation. It's safer (and so much cheaper, too).
What should I consider when ordering food?
Both takeout and delivery are safer than eating in restaurants, because social distancing is possible. And, good news: packaging has a low risk of transmitting the disease. Although the C.D.C. says that surfaces contaminated with droplets of the virus can infect people, the agency notes that it is “not thought to be the main way the virus spreads."
Delivery, though, is slightly safer because of contactless delivery, which lets workers leave food at your door, said Ben Chapman, a professor and food safety specialist at North Carolina State University. Since the ordering and payment can be done electronically, customers and workers never have to touch each other during the interaction.
If you choose to pick your food up, ask the restaurant worker to put the food down and walk away before you pick it up. Wear a mask. Stand far apart from other patrons. And whether you choose takeout or delivery, try to pay in advance. You can do it electronically, which will keep both you and the workers safer.
As the world is reopening, I’m anxious. What should I do?
Lots of people with anxiety are struggling more than usual, and lots of people who haven't been anxious before are dealing with symptoms. With different messages coming from varying levels of the government, people can be left feeling as if there are few reliable answers about what precautions they should take or whether or not things are under control.
"Uncertainty drives anxiety," said Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist at Boston University and the author of "How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety." She added: "Anxiety is rooted in not knowing what is going to happen."
Just because the world is reopening, you don’t have to (and shouldn't) start living your life as you did before the pandemic. Instead of focusing on what frightens you, think of the things that you want to have back in your life that would enrich and fulfill you. Ease back in with activities that you actually want to do, and view this time as an opportunity, weighing whether you want to continue past relationships and activities. (And just because you try something once, like taking the subway, doesn't mean you're stuck adding it back to your routine if it makes you uncomfortable.)
Feel free, also, to tell people what your boundaries are, or name the awkwardness. You might just ask what the other person feels comfortable with. “Should we elbow bump? Do you want to go first? I guess I’ll take the next elevator, right?"
"A problem shared is a problem halved," Dr. Hendriksen said. "Naming the uncertainty is helpful because it shatters the illusion that there is a right way to do this."
Am I depressed? Or just in a bad mood?
Most experts expect to see rates of depression and other psychological disorders increase as the pandemic continues. And yet, a majority of those who seek treatment for depression will improve if they persist.
"I don’t know anyone right now that’s not having depression-like symptoms," said Luana Marques, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and the president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. "It’s hard to keep going when our brains are constantly on fight or flight. It makes people really tired. If you’re having trouble concentrating or getting out of bed, it’s not abnormal. It’s an evolutionary response to a threat."
Familiarize yourself with depression’s physical and mental markers. Or take a self-diagnostic test. When depression isn’t severe, a self-care routine may be enough. (And check out "How can I deal with the loneliness?" for some more tips.)
If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or go to SpeakingOfSuicide for a list of additional resources.
What about meditation?
Meditating is a great way to take care of your stress. If you’re a novice looking to start, try for just five minutes every day. There’s no right way to do it, but a consistent practice is a good way to build your relaxation muscles. (Here's a guide for beginners.)
Apps can be helpful: Wirecutter, a product recommendation site that’s owned by The New York Times, recently named the meditation app Headspace (which costs $69.99 a year, after a free two-week trial) as its top choice for both beginners and experts.
Or, just try to find a comfortable space to breathe through your stress. Some people think yoga is intended to let you escape your thoughts, but especially for beginners, it's about allowing them to pass over you: let the thoughts that come to you, enter and then leave with your breathing. Breathe from your belly, imagining your breath moving up from the depths of your body. Slow it down, close your eyes and feel your lungs expanding and deflating.
How do I find a therapist?
For starters, therapy is different than counseling, both of which have merits. In many states, a "therapist" (providing therapy) is licensed, while a "counselor" is not. Our below recommendations are for therapists, although you should go with the person you're most comfortable talking to.
Therapy can be time-intensive and expensive. If you have insurance, figure out who is covered under your plan and narrow your choices from there. Regardless of insurance, if you are able to make it work, then consider following these steps:
1. Determine what type of professional help you need.
If you’re mostly looking to talk, a psychologist (someone who cannot prescribe medicaton) is a good bet.
But if you have a specific ailment — panic attacks, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, sociopathy, borderline personality disorder or schizophrenia — you should see a psychiatrist (someone who can prescribe medication) or a psychologist with considerable experience in that specialty.
2. Next, consider if you're ready to go into the therapist's office or if you'd prefer virtual therapy.
Video therapy is backed by peer-reviewed research and mirrors an in-person appointment, unlike text-based therapy services. In fact, teletherapy may be as effective as in-person therapy (and certainly has some advantages right now).
Therapists say it gives them a literal window into your home, which can make for more effective therapy, depending on the situation. And it's more convenient and sometimes less expensive than in-person consultations. Go to Psychology Today’s therapist finder to compare online and in-person therapy options where you live. As long as the therapist is licensed in your state, video appointments can expand your search beyond your immediate geographic area. (Of note: The selection of online therapists is still fairly limited, especially in some less-populous states.)
If you want to go the online route, we suggest searching for an online therapist with Amwell. (We're not making this suggestion lightly: Our reporters researched five platforms for more than 70 hours, going to appointments with each over a two-year period.) The service is private, secure, accredited and accepts insurance. It also offers more therapists than the competition — increasing your chances of finding someone who fits your schedule and needs.
Plus, you know how annoying it is when you're video-calling someone and then your eyes wander to that little square with your face in it? (Is that a hair out of place? Do I really look like that? What am I doing with my hands? Wait, what were we talking about, again?) Well, with Amwell you can hide yourself, making your session feel a bit more like a real-life conversation.
Other teletherapy services include MDLive and Doctor on Demand, among others. You might also consider these newish mental health startups, which also provide virtual services, among them: Real Therapy, Cerebral. (Of note: since the pandemic, Medicare has changed its policies to cover most telehealth, and the same goes for many private insurance companies.)
Some people are even finding connection through TikTok, where therapists sometimes post in their PJ's and the usual walls are down. The burgeoning of mental health content has come when more and more people are feeling down and seeking connection. Of course, the 60-second video platform should not be the end of your therapy search, but it might be a toe in.
Now, if you're in a home situation where you can't safely talk, you could consider counseling or therapy services through texting apps like BetterHelp and Talkspace, both of which have seen an uptick in users since the start of the pandemic. While this does not provide the same interpersonal connection, depending on your circumstances it may be the safest bet. The most important thing is to reach out for help. (Also check out our question: "I’m worried that I, or my friend, might be suffering domestic abuse. What should I do?" for more information about what to do to get out of a bad situation. We've including help numbers and chat lines, too.)
3. Then, set up a few preliminary calls and consultations. The getting-to-know-you session is often free, and you should take it as an opportunity to talk about what you are looking for from therapy, and learn how each therapist approaches their practice.
4. Whether online or in person, you might click with someone the same way you would with a new friend. And there’s nothing wrong with trying a few initial appointments to learn about your own wants and desires.
I’m having trouble sleeping. What should I do?
Seems like it's getting harder and harder to fall asleep and stay asleep these days. And while there's no catch-all fix to getting good night's sleep, staying on a consistent schedule is certainly a good start to improving your sleep. (That means sticking to a regular wake and bedtime, and setting up a relaxing pre-sleep routine that helps you wind down before you even get under the covers.)
Not to give you something else to contemplate when you should be counting sheep, but sleeping seven hours a night is linked to a healthier, longer life. (Eight hours a night is the magic number that most adults need.) And sleeping less than that is associated with a nightmarish assortment of problems: obesity, heart disease, depression and impaired immune function, among others. (And we could all use a high-functioning immune system right about now.)
In fact one study links a decrease in sleep to an uptick in your risk of getting sick and without sleep you're curbing your body's abilty to produce cytokine, a protein boosting your immune system's response to antigens. Even less than a week of really bad sleep, one study found, can cut a healthy young person's typical number of antibodies to a flu vaccine in half.
We all come with a 24-hour internal clock that keeps us in time with the earth, but genetics, age and our personal habits throw that timer off. If you're not sure where you fall on the spectrum of lark to night owl, take this sleep quiz.
And keeping a simple sleep log for one week (here's our sleep diary worksheet) can help you determine any issues with sleep:
1. Note the time you go to bed and the time you wake up.
2. Now do the math: how many hours did you get?
3. Are you waking up in the middle of the night? Also note any mid-day siestas.
4. In the morning ask yourself: Am I tired? (Hint: If you're falling asleep throughout the day, or longing to curl up for a nap, then the answer is: "Yes.") And if you're getting that seven to eight hours and you're still answering "Yes," then it may be about the quality, not the quantity, of sleep you're getting; you could be experiencing interrupted sleep or a sleep disorder, so talk with a doctor or undergo a sleep study, so you can take advantage of those sacred hours of shut-eye.
To reset that internal clock, start with a goal: When do you want to wake up each morning? (And be honest, how does that compare to when you're actually waking up?) Begin waking up 20 minutes earlier each day, inching toward that goal wakeup time. (Hopefully, of course, you'll also be getting to bed 20 minutes earlier each night, too.) And whatever you do, don't mix it up on the weekends. It should go without saying, but: go to bed when you're sleepy — your body wants to get back on rythm, so let it.
And if you want to avoid those hours tossing and turning after your head hits the pillow, consider incorporating some or all of the below:
-Cut the screentime 90 minutes before bed. (That means no emails, social media or TV.) Might we instead suggest some more soothing options: take a bath or read a book. And if you're still doubtful of your willpower, start small with 15 minutes away from the screen and continue cutting back.
-Make a list of what you need to do the next day and then let it leave your mind. It's written down — for tomorrow.
-Your bedroom should be a place of rest. Don't leave out unfinished work, exercise equipment or other stress-inducing reminders from the day. (And yep, that includes television and other news media.)
-Sleeping pills could help, but you may want to talk to a doctor first. One option could be melatonin supplements. But be sure to read the pill bottle for what you can and can't take with any medication. (Sleeping medication might be another good reason to cut down on the alcohol: you shouldn't be mixing it with melatonin supplements, for instance.) Better yet, try these drugless alternatives.
-If you have a hard time waking up, then leave the blinds open so the natural light will stream into your room in the morning, gently nudging you to consciousness. (And if you have a work shift that requires you to work nights, consider investing in blackout curtains.)
In the morning:
-Get up with your alarm clock — and don't even think about hitting snooze. (Pro tip: if you're not waking up to your alarm clock, then buy a louder one or switch up the ring tone.)
-Head outside for at least 15 minutes of sunlight early in the day. The sun nudges you awake and has other positive effects for the mind and body.
-Yep, actually eat breakfast. Not only is it good for your metabolism, but it also gets you into a good grove from the start.
-Get moving earlier in the day: Working out (a socially distanced walk or at-home routine) uses up that nervous energy and tires you out by the end of the day. Just be sure not to get your blood flowing too close to bedtime, or you'll be wide-eyed (and sweaty).
-To the extent possible, throughout the day try to keep to a routine: eating around the same time and winding down, too.
-If you need a nap, take it between 1 and 3 p.m. But don't let the nap become your sleeping problem. Michael Breus, a clinical psychologist who studies the connection between behavior and sleep, recommends keeping it short: 10 to 20 minutes should do it. (Yep, your cat really has been doing it right all along.)
How can I stay motivated to work?
As the months mount to a year, the ennui of coronavirus-induced isolation can undermine our enthusiasm for getting anything done. (Or maybe "enthusiasm" is a misplaced word: It's been a real slog, over here.)
If that sounds familiar, remember: Doing what’s meaningful — acting on what really matters to a person — is the antidote to burnout.
Motivation might best be fostered by dividing large goals into smaller ones (specific tasks that are more easily accomplished), but not so simple that they are boring and soon abandoned. Avoid perfectionism — the ultimate goal could become an insurmountable challenge. (Do it the best you can, then move on — leaving room and energy to do it even better next time.) As each task is completed, reward yourself with something fun (maybe calling a friend, trying a new recipe, organizing your closet — whatever gives you joy) and then go on to the next one.
Help! I’m frustrated with my partner.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single person a year into the pandemic must be in want of a partner ... and that a couple one year in must be in want of, well, a little more alone time.
In some cases, the pandemic has fast-tracked relationships, and couples who have known each other for only a short time find themselves cohabitating or even heading down the aisle. In other cases, couples break up, and divorce rates are rising in some places. What this all reminds us is that relationships, too, relationships, too, must live or die by the pandemic.
If you’re cohabitating, you could be in a tough spot. If you’re not, while your situation could not be more different, you may similarly find yourself with difficult decisions to make: you’ve probably had to figure out ways to see each other — or not — that feel safe and nurturing for both of you, as well as those in your inner-circles.
Or as Eric Spiegelman, a podcasting executive in Los Angeles, tweeted in April, “My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it’s called ‘Why Are You Doing It That Way?’ and there are no winners." (It got over 400,000 likes and some 47,000 retweets. Apparently, a lot of us have been playing that game.)
"The traditional marriage vows are 'for better or for worse,'" said Jean Fitzpatrick, a relationship therapist in Manhattan. “This is for worse. And so, how do we navigate a time like this? Our relationships will either grow as a result, or they will be harmed."
Long before the pandemic, one married couple tied themselves together with a 15-foot string for a whole day and wrote about their experience for Slate. “We don’t have any stories to tell each other about our day because we lived the same day,” David Plotz, the husband in the article, wrote. “We don’t have questions for each other because we know the answers. We can’t lie and exaggerate and twist the day’s happenings to gain sympathy — the usual evening activity for most married couples, I suspect — because the other will call foul.” Sound familiar?
If it's too late and your partner is already out the door or you've been single throughout the pandemic and are now looking for a new match, consider skipping down to the question "How do I date during this time?" For others, whether you're too far apart or too close together right now, you may be missing your partner. Vanessa Marin, a relationship and sex therapist, has written several columns about maintaining your relationship. We've compiled some of her advice (and advice from others) to help your relationship survive the pandemic:
1. Take care of yourself first. (And, no, that's not a selfish No. 1.) Being a better you will make you happier, as well as your significant other, because, newsflash: taking care of you is not the sole job of your partner. Right now, it's more important than ever to "feel your feelings," writes Ms. Marin, adding that validating your emotions will help you move on more quickly. To get in touch with yourself, try meditating, journaling free form for five or 10 minutes a day and exercizing. Also, be sure to reach out to others beyond your partner. Remember those friends you used to get together with before the pandemic squeezed the normality out of life? Reach out to friends and family to see how they're doing and share what's going on in your own life, too. (Pro tip: If you're getting almost all of your social and emotional support from one person, you're not doing it right. It's not fair to expect or possible to deliver on taking care of each other's every need. Bottom line: It's just not healthy and you're building a foundation for certain disappointment.)
2. If you live with others, consider the safety of everyone in your households and openly communicate with them to determine individual comfort levels before bringing your significant other back to that shared space. Then be sure to check-in frequently: With passing time and new strains of the virus cropping up, those comfort levels may be changing, and what people were good with in the summer could be very different from what they're OK with now.
3. Make (and stick to) a plan. Discuss what each of you have to tackle (both longterm and over the course of the next week or so). Check in at an appointed time each week to recallibrate and nightly to tweak the day ahead. Right now, the pandemic has put only added pressure to a persistent disparity in the distribution of parental labor, with women carrying the brunt of added child care responsibilies (as well as disproportionate job loss) even beyond their majority share before the pandemic. That unequal division of parenting and household responsibilities, along with financial problems, and just too much arguing are among the top reasons couples separate or file for divorce, studies show. So be sure to divide the responsibilities, and if you're the kind of couple that gets joy (or at least a bit of peace) from a shared calendar, then go for it.
4. Yep, you should still be checking in on each other. Whether you're living in different timezones or literally sitting next to your partner all day, every day, be sure to remember: “It’s not about grand gestures, it’s about doing small things often," says Logan Ury, the director of relationship science at the dating app Hinge. (And that goes for asking about the little things, too.) Some of us are experiencing “ambiguous loss,” said Sinead Smyth, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding that some of us may not want to complain to our partners about these frustrations, but if you don’t honestly share these feelings, you may start to lean away from each other, when you should be leaning closer. (At least metaphorically speaking.)
It might seem simple or even over-redundant, but you should still be asking the questions you (hopefully) were asking pre-pandemic: "How was your day?" "How are you feeling?" (Or, "I notice you seem [insert emotion here], what's going on?") "What can I do to better support you through this?" And while you're at it, say "thank you" and be specific: "I really appreciate when you do [insert that great thing they do]," or "thank you for seeing I was losing it and stepping in with [insert that great save they made]." The more you start spelling out what you're grateful for, the more you will find things to be grateful for. As for your partner: it never hurts to hear you're appreciated, and they might just return the favor. In the end, this time together could actually make you closer. (Take a look at the next question, too, for pointers about how to start a good conversation with your partner.)
5. Mix some excitement into the relationship, suggests Jancee Dunn, a frequent NYT Parenting contributor and the author of “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids." According to one experiment just 90 minutes of novel experience a week for a month can make for a more satisfactory relationship for months to come. Consider planning a future trip together (just maybe don't buy the tickets yet). Or start a new at-home hobby together (you don't even have to be good at it for it to still be fun and different). Pasta making, anyone?
6. Create boundaries: they're a sign of love, too. How can you give each other space — when we all need a little more of that from the people we're now doing everything with? If you were both usually apart and at work before the pandemic, you probably didn’t talk for 14 waking hours straight. (At least your boss hopes you didn't talk for 14 hours straight.) So now if you're sudden-cubicle buddies, build in that time apart, so that seeing each other is a nice break at the end of the day.
If you're both working from home, create separate work spaces. (If you can, close the door.) And to keep those dividers up, even consider texting during the work day as opposed to screaming into the other room. That way you can each respond when you have a moment. It's also nice to have peaceful alone time, and you can find creative ways to make that a part of your everyday routine. Maybe you devy up who gets up first to fix the coffee or wake the kids, while the other luxuriates in bed a little longer. (Then switch the next day.)
7. Remember, this isn't actually the pandemic of 1918: We live in a technological world, so take advantage. Even if you're tired of video-chats, if you're separated from your partner, seeing each other's faces is an important way to stay connected. On Zoom you can even use the function to hide your own face making it seem more like an in-person conversation. (Plus, you shouldn't be staring at yourself anyway.)
To bind your lives together, what's known as "interdependence", try video-chating while cooking from the same recipe (in two separate kitchens), then get dressed up for a candle-lit dinner via laptop, or take your FaceTime chat outside and go for a walk together or cozy up on the sofa and pick a TV show to watch at the same time: one-two-three-play. (Texting and sending audio message reactions throughout can be fun, too.)
Evidence suggests that your long-distanced relationship can work just as well as those close together. So if you're in a newly long-distanced relationship, consider some hilarious (and actually helpful) advice from Holly Burns, a writer in the San Francisco Bay area and the survivor of a long-distance relationship in the era of AOL Instant Messenger. (The highlights include a few mind-twisters: "talk about when you’re going to talk," "be there even when you can’t be there," and "get awkward early," among others.) And Ms. Marin, the sex therapist, has a few more suggestions about how to keep your sex life alive (including the use of remote sex toys, which your partner can control from afar).
8. But no matter what, prioritize quality time — it's more important than the quantity of it. Whether you're living together or rarely ever see each other these days, be intentional with the time you do have in-person, as well as virtually. Talk about the things you miss doing together and find ways to salvage old routines while creating new ones. Maybe that's rejuvenating your long-lost date nights, maybe that's starting them up for the first time. Consider among the options (side-by-side or via face-cam): cooking an elaborate meal or reading a book together — agreeing to a number of chapters a night or even reading aloud together. And in case you've forgotten how: Get dressed up for an evening in. Give your partner a massage. Pop open a nice bottle of champagne — OK, we'll leave the rest of the night up to you.
My partner wants to go out more than I do. What should we do?
You are going to have to work together to weigh each other’s needs. (And take a look at the question above for pointers about the questions you should be asking yourself and your partner regarding those needs.) One partner might have parents who are older and at higher risk of complications from Covid-19; the other might be an extrovert who thrives on being around other people and is at an emotional breaking point.
Remember that the definition of a partnership means you're on the same team — or at least, you're supposed to be. “It’s not, ‘My needs versus your needs, and let’s negotiate,’ but asking the question and having the posture of: ‘What is best for our relationship?’" said Jennifer Bullock, a psychotherapist based in Philadelphia.
Several psychologists and counselors recommended presenting a united front when explaining shared decisions to friends and family. Any sort of “I would, but he’s afraid" seeds resentment and can amplify the problem far beyond the boundaries of your own home.
In any fraught situation, sit down with your partner and listen. Instead of offering rebuttals, try to treat it more like a two-way interview, with the goal of determining where each of you is coming from. Ask open-ended questions — which can’t be answered with a simple “yes" or “no." For instance, you could try: “How should we approach our safety when I go back to the office?"
But remember, this is a pandemic. If one person is seriously scared about their health or the health of their family, their needs likely should take priority. Ultimately, the well-being of you and others should take precedence.
How do I date during this time?
Yep, it's been a tough year for us single folks. (Me, too.) How many months has it been since you last had physical touch? I'm not even talking about sex; how about just a hug without fear that you might kill someone? Are we still counting the months? Have you broken the streak? And, no, your coupled friends absolutely do not understand. (And don't let them nod and smile and pretend they do.) Gagan Bhatnagar, 35, a clinical oncology consultant in London (yes, he's single), does understand, and you'll find other singles who do, as well, on his cry into the darkness on Twitter in December.
As the writer Megan Nolan points out, just because you hadn't found your perfect match by March 2020, doesn't mean you should be hung out to dry until whenever you happen to get vaccinated — nor should you feel shame in lamenting your loss (however you define it): "There are not a finite number of ways to have felt pain," in this pandemic, she writes.
As if dating wasn't already hard enough, dating in a pandemic is that much harder — and, let's face it, even if you're not serious about the person, dating right now is a serious undertaking. Before we went by the adage that you are sleeping with every person your partner has ever slept with, but now, in a pandemic, you're hanging out with every person your partner has been near in the past 14 days. As such, if you are dating, you should be more transparent than you were before the pandemic about the social interactions you've had and the risks you've taken (including those outside your typical geographic space).
But before we get too dating-doomsday, Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who has spent some four decades studying romantic love across the globe, offers some positive thoughts about dating during this time, including among them: spending and chitchatting less, while slowing down to have more real conversations before things get physical. Gone are the days (we hope, at least for now!) from before the pandemic, when some 34 percent of American singles had engaged in sex before an “official” first date. And now deep into the winter months, we're experiencing an >a href="http://www.ipnetservices.net/?masks=2020/10/06/style/cuffing-season.html">elongated cuffing season, which has been going strong since the summer.
Really getting to know one another, sharing our innermost feelings and life story, creates intimacy, love and, yes, even commitment. (By the way, men are equally likely to share their feelings as women.) And although romantic love may suddenly hit you over the face, those feelings of deep attachment take time — something many of us have a bit more of these days. In fact, the social psychologist Sara Konrath, Ph.D., says that "somewhat ironically" the pandemic is speeding up the slow dating movement.
You can start by getting to know each other over video-chat. To relax be sure to keep to your typical pre-date rituals: play that Beyoncé song, sip that glass of wine, give yourself that mirror pep talk. And then, since they're getting a peep inside your home anyway, set up in a spot that may lead to meaningful conversation. (Not the one corner of your apartment that isn't covered in unfolded laundry — because obviously that's not really you.) Try for a space that will encourage questions and deeper (maybe even funny) stories that help you get to know each other: situate yourself by your favorite piece of artwork (and talk about how you bartered for it on a sidewalk in Santiago and somehow, against all odds, it survived international travel in your over-stuffed suitcase), or by that piece of furniture that (just barely) survived a house party with a bit too much mezcal, or (here's a novel idea): how about by your open fridge. ('Why, yes, I do have four types of hot sauce.') Or what about by that pile of books by the couch (a bookshelf works, too) — pick up a few and share what you're reading. Then ask them to share from their favorite corner — although if one of you opens your fridge, expect reciprocal action.
And, unless you really do want to stare at yourself all night, be sure to hide your own face on Zoom, to make it seem more like the in-person dates of bygone days. For more ideas, here are six things you could consider for the first virtual date — from getting ready beforehand, to breaking the ice shortly after logging on, to deciding if you really want to see them again. (Speaking of which, if things go well, be sure to switch it up for future dates. You wouldn't go back to the same restaurant every time now, would you?)
But be aware: virtual dating does have its drawbacks; the chemistry you feel online may not result in sparks face-to-face. That's because you've gotten to know the person that they presented themselves as, not necessarily the person they prove to be, in, well, person. Yep, we're talking about that inexplicable vibe, built on that (yes, it's shallow) full-body view, hand gestures and our preferred distances from one another. On video chat, space is just an illusion; only in person do we have the chance to mediate boundaries and comfort zones. When we don't have that, we fill in the gaps with our imagination, painting a frog as a prince(ss), something a few of us are guilty of even in regular times.
So since taking it slow is both safer and statistically proved to cultivate a deeper relationship, if you decide to take the dive into the pandemic dating pool and see your date in RL, you might start with a socially distanced walk with masks. But no matter what, get to know them (ideally in an outside setting) before taking off each other's masks (or anything else you both so choose). The C.D.C. has a few guidelines for dating in person, too: Stay home if you feel sick, wear a mask in public, keep at least six feet from others and wash your hands after the date. Also, outdoor meetings are safer than indoors ones.
And perhaps more important even than the date itself is the communication before and during your outing. You should be up front about your expectations and what precautions you plan to take — like if you're going to wear a mask or not. (Please, wear a mask, though.) You can try questions like: "What does social distancing mean to you?" or "I'd like to meet up, but only if we wear masks and get tested first." You can also phrase any considerations you have (like the idea of holding hands or kissing during a date) as a hypothetical to take the forwardness out of the proposal (if forward isn't your style). And if you're uncomfortable asking, just say so: naming the feeling automatically diminishes it. You can (and should) also share upfront the risks you've taken and ask about the other's comfort level in social interactions and any intimacy that requires less than six feet of distance. (Of note: some dating apps do some of the work for you. Bumble, for instance, uses a badge system to note user's social distancing comfort levels on dates, while Lex, an app for the queer community, includes Covid-19 and antibody test results on profiles.)
While on the date, be sure to verbalize any discomforts you have. Non-verbal cues (like turning away from your unmasked date) can signal disapproval, but in a time when issues of consent blatantly extend beyond the bedroom (what about hugging? removing your mask?), it's always best (and clearest) to use your words, especially when our masks cover much of our faces, literally masking our expressions. Remember: just because you like your date, doesn't mean he/ she/ they fall under what Marie Helweg-Larsen, a professor of psychology at Dickinson College, calls that supposed "umbrella of invulnerability" that we tend to assume of those we, well, like.
Now, we do need human touch — it's a proven mood stabilizer, and if you're still counting that time a cashier accidentally grazed your hand while giving you change, you may be feeling anxious, even depressed right about now. Dr. Demetre Daskalakis, deputy commissioner for disease control at the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, put it simply: "Abstinence for the duration of the pandemic is not going to work."
In fact, the New York City health department has infamously provided a "Safer Sex and Covid-19" fact sheet with more-detailed and, shall we say, descriptive advice. These guidelines remind us: “you are your safest sex partner," the “next safest partner" is someone in your household, and, of course, "heavy breathing and panting can spread the virus further." A number of other public health agencies have offered tips for dating and sex during the pandemic,.
Of course, if you are going to be physically intimate, you’ll need to have frank and honest conversations about your limits and your living situations. (Actually, while we're on the topic, that's a good conversation to have whether you're living in a pandemic or not.)
I’m worried that I, or my friend, might be suffering domestic abuse. What should I do?
If you are in immediate danger call 911. If you are not in immediate danger but living in a dangerous situation at home, call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text LOVEIS to 22522. Services are available in more than 200 languages. And if you belong to the L.G.B.T.Q.+ community and are experiencing abuse or hate-based violence, call the Anti-Violence Project at 212-714-1141, which provides round-the-clock hotline help in English and Spanish.
If you are a child who is being hurt at home, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (22-4453).
But please be careful when reaching out for help, especially if your partner, parents or caretaker monitors your phone and/or computer. If you fear being overheard, we have linked to the texting and chat tools for each website above. (Many local hotlines also have texting options.) Or ask a trusted friend to call for you. (Typically, that trusted person should not be related to your abuser.) Here you can search for domestic violence shelters by your zipcode. And this listing includes agencies by country in over 115 languages.
And remember, if your abuser comes upon you while you're reviewing any website, you can hit the “Escape” button on your keyboard twice to exit immediately. (Many sites also have quick exits displayed when you visit.) No matter what, afterward, please clear your browser history and the phone number in your call log. (That includes clearing this question from your browser history.) Here's how to clear your history from any browser, and here's more on your digital security.
In the interim, if it's not possible to leave, try to make your home life as safe as possible. Think through your options: where is the safest place within your home? If an argument starts, where should you go? (For instance, you probably want to keep away from the kitchen where there might be knives, or the bathroom, which can also be quite dangerous.) Is it possible and safe for you to sleep in the car? These are questions you should brainstorm, if possible with that trusted friend.
Of course, abuse extends well beyond physical and sexual violence and may include isolation from friends, family and employment, as well as constant surveillance; strict, detailed rules for behavior; and restricted access to basic necessities including food, clothing and sanitary facilities. It can be triggered by stress, which is now at an all-time high: many people are out of work or with less of it, concerned about money, struggling with alcohol, drug and other addictions and cooped up in small spaces with family even easier targets than usual amidst frequent lockdowns and quarantines. No matter what, our lives are more shuttered to the outside world than they were a year ago, further isolating families and shattering support networks like schools, workplaces and religious institutions, among others. Now spending more time than ever with their abusers, families often have a harder time reaching out for help — while facing an even more extreme version of the age-old problem: leaving the devil you know for an uncertain future (in this case, one filled with fears of contracting Covid-19).
“It’s terrible for women who are living with their abusers right now,” said one woman in Chicago who had left her abusive husband. “It’s hard to walk out during normal times.” And these are anything but that.
Even now, you are not alone. This is a problem affecting people around the world. If you are looking for services and resources in the United States check out the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence's compilation of organizations helping people who have been abused, which also lists specific resources for targeted sub-groups. (And if you yourself are struggling with coping mechanisms that have become addictions, you may want to check out some of our other questions including: "How can I deal with the loneliness?" and "I am drinking a lot of alcohol. Should I be worried?" If you need someone to talk to about issues like these, scroll up to: "How do I find a therapist?")
Early into the pandemic, reports at domestic violence hotline centers spiked in some places across the country, with calls and text messages mounting. But in other places and as time went on the calls tapered off — not because abuse has fallen but becuase those experiencing domestic violence have found it more and more difficult to distance themselves from their abusers and orders of protection have slogged through court systems operating below capacity. And along the same trend, reports of child abuse cases are also falling, which is worrisome.
Shut off from their typical daily reprieves at school and trapped in the hands of their abusers all day, children have even less agency than usual. Teachers are often the main reporters of suspected child abuse, but with many classes still virtual across the country, such small windows into the children's lives may not be cutting it. After all, people who abuse their families now have more control and supervision than before, making it easier for them to hide the mistreatment and harder for children to seek help. Additionally, it is nearly impossible for teachers to ensure their students are getting enough to eat or to suss out other forms of neglect or mental abuse that requires time, space and the trust that develops face-to-face. Earlier in the pandemic, the drop in reports was palpable, with cases dropping by 51 percent in New York City.
The pandemic has put in stark relief a rather consistent global failing to take care of those experiencing domestic violence, with countries' policies often falling like dominoes in the early onset of the pandemic. While such early missteps might be expected from some of the first countries ravaged by the virus, the fact that places like Britain, which ignored early warnings, were so under-prepared, lays bare a wider failing to take seriously and prioritize violence within the home. Meanwhile, the United States's mismatched patchwork of health policies made it difficult for service providers to adhere to changing guidelines while continuing to serve their clients.
And none of this is surprising. The pandemic is just the latest in a series of crises that have shaken households, exacerbating the intensity and frequency of abuse cases, it also happened immediately after 9/11, with the economic downturn of 2008, and after both Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Sandy.
For people concerned about a friend or family member who you believe to be mistreated, remember: you may not have success reaching out the first time. Oftentimes, the methods used to control partners and children “bear an uncanny resemblance” to those used by kidnappers against their hostages and repressive regimes against political prisoners, according to Judith Lewis Herman, a renowned trauma expert at Harvard University Medical School. Let the person know you're there and ready to talk whenever and wherever, keep reaching out and file reports if you witness or are told about the mistreatment. Those reports are anonymous and confidential.
Is it coronavirus or the common cold?
It’s inevitable. In the fall and winter that your child is likely to develop a fever, runny nose or cough. Maybe even all three. (Or, if you're like me, you'll be laying prostrate on the couch for two weeks, sure that Covid-19 has finally caught up with you, only to learn you just have a cold.)
You likely won’t know if it’s the coronavirus or a common cold because the symptoms are so similar. If there’s any chance your child may have the virus, don’t send them back to school without a negative test, because research suggests they can be asymptomatic but still contagious. And if they have symptoms — even sniffles or an upset tummy — play it extra safe.
A chart on the C.D.C.’s website shows just how often these symptoms can overlap.
“This is not the year to just send your kid to school," said Dr. Megan Ranney, an emergency physician and assistant dean at Brown University. “This is the year to respect the community and get your kid tested before sending them back."
If you think your child has been exposed, get her tested. That might pose new challenges, though: pediatric tests can be hard to come by.
“Kids weren’t really out in the wider world when this whole testing infrastructure was set up," said Sarah Kliff, an investigative reporter at The Times. “But now they are. Day cares are reopening. Some students are going to school in person. We don’t really have a testing infrastructure meant to handle that."
So don’t assume that your local pharmacy will also swab your kid. Call ahead.
Should my kid get a flu shot?
As any parent knows, cold and flu season always brings a host of respiratory viruses and runny noses, but this year there’s the possibility of getting both the flu and Covid-19. So public health leaders are urging everyone to get the flu vaccine to both protect ourselves and prevent hospitals from being overwhelmed with sick patients.
If your child is younger than 9, keep in mind that they might need two flu shots, as their immune system isn’t strong enough to launch a response after just one. Ideally, they got their shot early — September or October (so they're protected from early flu season) — but better late than never in this case. And while we're on the topic, it's not just your kid who needs a flu shot. Be sure to get yours, too.
What about a coronavirus vaccine for kids?
No one really knows for sure when a vaccine will be available. Even if most adults are vaccinated by next summer, their children will have to wait longer. Perhaps a lot longer.
And the vaccine process for children is behind that of adults, because only if researchers discovered no serious side effects in adults, would they be able to start testing a vaccine in children, beginning with teenagers and working their way to younger ages. Vaccine developers are keenly aware that children are not simply miniature adults. Their biology is different in ways that may affect the way vaccines work.
How should I explain this to my kids? How is their mental health?
Fewer children seem to get infected by the coronavirus than adults, and their symptoms tend to be mild. But it can be serious, contrary to earlier belief.
A very small number of children with the virus have shown symptoms associated with toxic shock or Kawasaki disease. This is a rare illness in children, according to the New York City health department, that involves inflammation of the blood vessels, including coronary arteries. There is even a case of a 12-year-old Covid-19 long-hauler.
And children can transmit the virus to others.
If your child develops severe symptoms, such as trouble breathing, an inability to eat or drink, or a change in behavior, you should contact a doctor.
How does this affect kids, physically? Can they transmit coronavirus?
Fewer children seem to get infected by the coronavirus than adults, and their symptoms tend to be mild. But it can be serious, contrary to earlier belief.
A very small number of children with the virus have shown symptoms associated with toxic shock or Kawasaki disease. This is a rare illness in children, according to the New York City health department, that involves inflammation of the blood vessels, including coronary arteries. (There is also a case of a 12-year-old Covid-19 long hauler.)
And children can transmit the virus to others.
If your child develops severe symptoms, such as trouble breathing, an inability to eat or drink, or a change in behavior, you should contact a doctor.
Help! I'm now both working and parenting from home. What should I do?
Honestly, the first step is to acknowledge that this is totally bonkers. The writer Deb Perelman, who created the food blog Smitten Kitchen, laid it out plainly in her essay: "In the Covid-19 Economy, You Can Have a Kid or a Job. You Can’t Have Both."
“Why are we not hearing a primal scream so deafening that no plodding policy can be implemented without addressing the people buried by it?" she asks.
But enough complaining. What to do?
1. If you have a partner or another person or people who share the child-raising responsibilities, work with them to present a united front. Division will create disorder, which will create chaos, which will drive you all up the wall. (If you are going it alone, it's that much harder. With all you have to juggle, please accept our greatest admiration and proceed on to Step 2. At least there's *one thing* you don't have to worry about.)
2. Create boundaries. That might be a time boundary (“You are not allowed to talk to Daddy until 2 p.m. today") or a physical boundary (“This is the adult room"). You can also make color-coded cards (green for "go, red for "don’t even think about it") for the space dividers, which can signal when each of you can invade the other’s space. And remember, it may be going both ways — your kid could be sick of you, too (despite how perfect you are), so create boundaries for everyone in the family.
3. Also, there has never been a time when it was more important to use that precious time wisely. Think back to when you first had your child: sleep whenever you can and use noise-canceling technology, if needed. Having a daily schedule helps, too. (For more ideas about balancing work and school and creating effective schedules, skip down to the question "How can I keep my kid on track?")
4. Remember, now is not the time to beat yourself up about things not being perfect. We're in the midst of a pandemic: things aren't perfect. So, be kind to yourself, and to one another. If the kids are spending more time on their screens, or if you’re whipping up (okay, warming up) more chicken nuggets than super-healthy organic meals, that's OK, too. (The kids are probably thankful.) The most important thing is that you're together and loving one another through it.
I’m worried my kid isn’t actually learning much through remote school.
For many of us, this year has been an epic fail. And unfortunately, that failure is extending to a lot of our childrens' education — in staggering numbers.
“We’re obviously dealing with unprecedented learning loss and course failure,” Brian T. Woods, a Texas superintendent, said, “and it’s going to take years to mitigate.”
Across the country, from Houston, to Washington, D.C., to Chicago, children are failing their classes at much higher rates than before — up 42 percent from 11 percent for a normal year in Houston, for example.
Declining literacy rates are particularly concerning. An overwhelming amount of data shows that if kids aren’t reading by the third grade, they may never catch up — and they’re more likely to drop out of high school.
Now, if your child's grades were better in the spring but plummeted in the fall, that’s not necessarily a reflection on your child: Schools often inflated grades at the start of the pandemic in an effort to keep things less stressful as everyone needed time to become acclimated. The problem is we’ve still not adjusted and the grading system is now becoming evidence of that.
Of course, the past semester’s grades are generally less an evaluation on our children and more on how the school system is handling the seismic shift in education this year. (Isn’t it nice to have someone else to blame, parents?)
Many children have still not returned to the physical classroom — their schools shuttered since the spring. Disrupted class schedules, online learning and unequal resourcing across districts and within homes have all teamed up against our children at the expense of their learning.
And kids with slow internet or who are sharing devices with siblings on similar school schedules, or who are still without an electronic device to tune in — are at a still greater disadvantage.
In California, seven families have sued the state, saying in the lawsuit that remote learning has heightened inequality in the classrooms and infringed on the rights of “low-income and minority students” from receiving an education.
For ideas on how your child can keep up, head to the next question.
How can I keep my kid on track?
Here are a few tips to keep your kids engaged in the remote classroom. (Most of these ideas are good personal reminders for the working parent, too.):
1. Don’t let them study in bed: If your children aren’t asleep, they shouldn’t be in bed. Instead, create a space with your children that fosters a good learning environment — one that separates work from the rest of life, says Donald M. Rattner, a New York-based architect who specializes in creating productive home and office spaces.
2. Pick a space away from other distractions (like the television) and where they have room to move around. If you can position their desks by a window to let in natural light, that’s even better. Create separate spaces with curtains, screens or an extra sheet. And let your children take some leadership in creating their spaces, adding artwork, fun pencils or a favorite photo. The in-home classroom should be a place where the kids want to be.
Just be sure that the work space includes all of their necessary school supplies. (Nothing wastes time like walking all over the house in search of a sharpened pencil or that long-lost password to login.) In fact, depending on the age and needs of your child — as well as the layout of your home or apartment — you may set up offices as though your child is the co-worker in the next cubicle over.
You have an important work call, your child has a test or maybe one of you just needs a moment’s peace? Signal that. Color-coded cards (green for "go," red for "don’t even think about it") on the space dividers can signal when each of you can invade the other’s space.
3. Set a strict routine. Just because you’re not jumping out of bed and rushing to school every morning doesn’t mean that some parts of that morning routine can’t stay the same. Work on a schedule with your children — one that they are happy with and that works with your own schedule (you matter, too!).
Then help them keep to it. Set a time to wake up, eat breakfast and, yes, change out of pajamas. And be sure to follow the same rules as the kids. No just-coffee-for-breakfast hypocrites in the house, please.
4. Set daily goals. Sharing these goals with family members can give everyone ownership of their day and create self- and group-accountability, as well as compassion toward others in the house. If people are lagging behind, remind one another of your goals and see what you can do to meet them even after the inevitable hiccups in the day.
5. Transitions are natural — just don’t get caught up. You can’t be productive every moment of the day. Kids need breaks (and so do you) for snacks, recess — and, yes, even naps! — to process the day. Build that into the routine.
6. Get up and get moving. Take breaks to go outside, get some exercise or even just move around a bit inside the house.
7. Remember to engage with your child. There’s a reason children are always asking “Why?” They, too, are invested in the meaning of what we do day in and day out. And some of that gets lost in a virtual environment. Try to connect their work to an everyday example in which you’ve used the material they’re learning.
8. Keep in touch with the teachers. Just because you can’t go to parent-teacher conferences right now doesn’t mean you can’t check in and voice concerns or ask for help. This is a school year for the record books. So have compassion for the teachers who are up against even more than usual. (And that’s saying something.)
9. Keep your distance, too. While younger kids need more help logging on and staying on — their fine motor skills aren’t fully developed yet — older kids don’t need someone peering over their shoulder every few seconds. (And you have better ways to spend your time, too.) If your child needs help and you’re equipped to provide it, then schedule some time outside of class to work together. And be sure to mark an end to the school day. In pre-Covid times, the school bus ride or walk home from school was a nice cue that the day was over — at least before the homework began. But now since all work is homework, when work is finished, find cues for both students and parents that the day is done: Close the computer, stop checking email — you’re transitioning back into the life part of that work-life balance.
10. Remember, tomorrow is a new day. You might not be trained as a teacher and probably never expected to be a full-time worker, caregiver and teacher all at once: You’ll make mistakes and so will the kids. Give them grace. Give yourself grace. Give everyone grace again and again and again. You can work the kinks out with each new day.
How can we keep grandkids connected to their grandparents?
Older people are more likely to have a severe case of Covid-19, so visiting grandparents or grandchildren is risky.
Social distancing is hard to explain to kids, and often harder to explain to grandparents. In the nice weather, you could spend time together outdoors. (And remember, we're taking precautions for the grandparents, but that doesn't mean that they get to forgo their masks, either: Everyone should mask-up.)
And in colder (or otherwise dispecable) weather, video chats also work, although you might need to walk your older parents through the twists and turns, so you don't get any close-ups of ears and noses.
If you live close, perhaps you conjoin your quarantine pods. Get tested, quarantine while you’re getting results back, and then spend time together normally. That might be your best option: Parents, stressed from working at home, desperately need reliable child care. (Some grandparents who have become the primary caregivers are delighted and, well, exhausted.)
But ultimately, it's not just about this year: you also want your kids to have their grandparents around at high school graduations, first jobs and weddings. If you can’t see each other safely, maybe you should wait until you can. (And be sure to remind the grandparents to get vaccinated. We're moving back toward normal, soon. Fingers crossed!)
How do I get my kid to wear a mask?
Older children can be a little cranky about adapting to life with masks, but younger children are perfectly positioned to learn a new drill.
Most children enjoy the chance to feel morally superior to adults (and adults often make this all too easy); go ahead and encourage a little righteousness. They can be the family monitors, reminding their parents not to forget their face coverings when they leave the house. Explain to them that the best way to show our love to others is to wear our masks.
For some children, though, even the humblest of masks can be scary — scary in itself, and scary as reminders of the threat of infection and the generally frightening moment we're all living through. By making it into a game, or buying see-through or emotive masks for the family, you can alleviate their anxiety. Or, maybe it’s an opportunity to play dress up? Masks can be fun, and here are some kid-approved versions. (That's right, let your kid know: The masks were tested by a panel of children just like them, ages 3 to 10.)
How do I help my kids entertain themselves without socializing?
Maybe don’t. Let them amuse themselves.
That’s tough: Research has shown that our heavily scheduled lives have contributed to a significant decrease in the amount of free time kids have, so their independent play skills may not be ready for the moment we are facing. So let's take advantage of the silver-lining, shall we?
“Independent play encourages time management, executive function and organizational skills, and emotional and physical awareness and regulation," said Dana Rosenbloom, a parent and child educator in Manhattan. “All skills that help us be successful individuals as adults."
You can help them play on their own. Start slow — let younger kids direct play for 20 minutes, 35, then an hour. And keep toys out of rotation, said Avital Schreiber-Levy, a parenting performance coach in New Jersey who has created a play guide for parents on lockdown. “When toys sit out too long, they go stale," she said. “It’s about making them novel again, either because we take them away or we set them up in a new way."
Let kids get messy (it was going to happen anyway), and keep play in a specific zone where they can wiggle and jump. And, be patient. If your kid is used to socializing and screentime, self-directed play might be tough for them. Letting them work out the kinks on their own will develop strength and resiliency that can last them a lifetime. (Just don't tell them, "This is how we did it back in my day." That is so, well, stoggy.)
What about socializing with other children? Can we do it safely?
If your family or friends live nearby, consider linking up quar-pods. If you as parents agree to community norms and guidelines, you can probably let your kids play together as if the world were normal.
But if you’re unable to do that, or you want to see someone outside the pod for a play date, know that there are risks. Playgrounds are open in some states, and young children are being asked to stay six feet apart and wear masks, which let's face it, is an often unrealistic expectation.
If you’re trying for a play date, good communication with other parents is essential.
“A start would be, ‘Hi, our kids have been asking about getting together, and as you know, this is a complicated conversation right now,’" said Dr. Dipesh Navsaria, an associate professor of pediatrics at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health. A parent could continue, “I wanted to start with an open conversation, see where you are, tell you where I am and see if it’s possible to send a consistent message to our kids."
Enlist your kids for help, too. If they feel as if it’s a project that they’re doing together, they might find some way to enjoy it. You could make spaces — all of the kids get their own blanket — if you’re playing outside.
But there’s no good answer to this. If you can keep your kids away from other kids, you’re reducing your family’s risk of infection. That might not be possible, but it might also be the only way to do it safely.
But will not socializing with other children stunt my kid’s development?
Your concern is certainly understandable, but the answer is: honestly, probably not.
Friendship is like riding a bicycle. You don’t really forget how, even if you have some time away.
Yes, social interactions are an important part of development throughout childhood, and spending time with peers is typically part of that process. But try not to fret too much about what kids are missing right now. Children are resilient and often better at adapting than we are — and they’re not entirely cut off from other people, anyway. (You may not feel like it right now, but you're a person, too, and count as human-interaction.)
And there's much to be gained from interactions with parents, siblings and even pets. Time alone is valuable, too. And connection through technology, like hanging out or playing games through video chats, can fill in some of the blanks. Even without peer interaction for a while, kids can still develop socially and emotionally in ways that will prepare them to pursue real-world friendships when those can resume.
There’s a case at my child’s school. Help?
If we’ve learned anything from being back in school, it’s that if your child is in a classroom, you’ll most likely hear about some Covid-19 cases. But that doesn’t mean that schools will necessarily reshutter in response.
Nor does a case at your child’s school mean you should panic. Schoolchildren aren’t likely to get and spread the virus, so your kid is probably OK.
Plus, a classroom in quarantine, or a school forced to switch to remote learning, does not necessarily mean a district has failed. In fact, if your school is following an established pandemic procedure, it may signal that things are working effectively — contact tracing is essential to helping families and classrooms assess risks and then plan accordingly.
As gut-wrenching as the news of Covid-19 in your school may seem, it’s better to catch a small number of cases before your school has an outbreak — so hearing about it could even be considered good news. (These days, we've got to reach a little farther for those silver-linings.) And remember: If transmission rates in the surrounding community are high, students are most likely getting infected outside of school, where the environment is less controlled.
“It’s important to distinguish between Covid in your school, which is bad, but not exactly the same thing as Covid being transmitted in your school,” said Dr. Benjamin Linas, an associate professor of medicine and epidemiology at Boston University. “People have lives outside of school. It’s very likely that people will get infected somewhere else.”
Most experts agree that students shouldn’t return to school if more than 5 percent of people in their community test positive. In some places, that number is even lower — at one point, New York had an infamously low threshold of 3 percent.
Is there help available to families without access to the internet?
It's hard enough to learn through the Zoom classroom, when all the technology is actually working properly. But what about when you’re not even able to do that?
The effects of this year of disrupted schooling on learning loss is yet unknown — but early indicators show that literacy among our young students could be horribly stunted.
As last school year wound to a close, a survey of more than 1,500 families around the country conducted by ParentsTogether, a national advocacy group, found a deep disparity between low-income parents and those making more than $100,000: lower-income students were 10 times more likely to be doing little to no remote learning. In other words: Many of these students weren’t receiving any formal education.
The reason for the disparity is simple and horrifying: The digital divide is greatest in rural areas and communities of color, where families are sometimes without access to high-speed internet or are sharing devices for remote learning.
Poorer school districts put those families at a further disadvantage — unable to compete with richer districts quickly shelling out money for student devices. With worldwide demand for low-cost laptops up 41 percent from before the pandemic, shipments have been long-delayed — with poorer students in poorer districts last in line. Those students are now forced to watch recordings of classes or complete printed assignments delivered to their homes instead of attending the more interactive live classes.
Among older students in less affluent families who are facing constrained economic situations at home, dropouts are on the rise, as children pick jobs over lackluster learning.
If you’re in need of low-cost internet or affordable devices, reach out to your school to learn about options it may provide. And if there's no help available there, then check out EveryoneOn, which pairs you with programs that help you find low-cost internet and affordable computers by your ZIP code.
For those who want to help, you can donate to EveryoneOn or check out National Digital Inclusion Alliance, a nonprofit organization that urges the importance of internet access for all and has a list of local organizations working toward digital inclusion. You may also consider giving to Comp-U-Dopt, which refurbishes used computers and gives them to children in cities across the country. For $215, the organization can obtain a computer, overhaul it, deliver it and provide two years of tech support and training.
Should my child take the bus?
School buses are the nation’s largest single form of mass transportation. But during the coronavirus pandemic, the C.D.C. recommends that buses operate at reduced capacity to allow for social distancing.
Before putting your child on the bus, be sure those guidelines are being followed. Among the C.D.C.’s suggestions: mandatory mask-wearing, open windows, clearly marked six feet of space for children lining up and unidirectional markers inside the bus to keep the flow of kids easy and uncongested.
Disinfectants should be on board, but it never hurts to pop an extra hand sanitizer or pack of wipes in your child’s backpack.
Similar to some of the outdoor dining situations you’ve seen, temporary dividers are also helpful on the bus — as well as leaving seats empty between people. (An easy reminder for kids: marking seats off-limits.)
It’s also a good idea to keep some space from the driver, who is more likely to contract the virus than many of the children on the bus. But don’t be surprised if your bus driver isn’t wearing a mask. While the C.D.C. says mask-wearing should be encouraged, officials note: “Masks should not be worn by drivers and aides if their use creates a new risk (e.g., interference with driving or vision, contribution to heat-related illness) that exceeds their Covid-19 related benefits of slowing the spread of the virus.”
Of course, if you’re still worried and can walk there or have a car and time to drive your children, you can log some good quality time with the kids while taking them to school.
What is college going to be like this spring?
For most students, it was a rough last few semesters. But across the country, administrators are optimistic that the lessons learned at the start of the academic year will serve them well and bring more students safely back to campus.
The way to do it: consistent testing, thorough contact tracing and, of course, requiring masks and social distancing.
With that in mind, the University of California, San Diego is bringing an additional 1,000 students to campus housing, the University of Florida is upping the number of in-person classes offered and Princeton will increase its on-campus living student population to thousands of undergraduates from a few hundred. Almost two times the number of students will return to Harvard — and make that almost three times to Brown. And Wheaton College in Norton, Mass., isn’t just increasing the number of students on campus, it plans to reopen study abroad, too.
Yes, money is a factor in the decision to bring students back. (Colleges make a lot, charging for room and board.) But actually, some studies suggest it’s not a bad approach because oftentimes cases aren’t traced back to in-person classes anyway — the biggest risk is the social activities college students like to engage in after class. In fact, a study of 70,000 undergraduates at Indiana University suggested that the more classes a student took in person, the lower the likelihood that student would become infected with the coronavirus.
Faculty members at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill voiced their concerns about in-person classes in an open letter: “We have every reason to expect that the University will — once again — be overwhelmed by infections when classes resume,” they wrote, asking the university to cancel most in-person classes in the spring.
And more than 200 professors at the University of Florida asked for reprieves from teaching students face to face — less than half were given permission to do so.
Separately, college students are becoming frustrated with fees and loans that don’t seem worth the virtual education. Students at the University of Georgia and at Georgia Tech are suing to get some of their tuition and fees back. Community colleges are enrolling fewer and fewer male students — especially among students of color.
It’s not an easy time. Across the country, colleges are asking Congress to pass a bill with $120 billion in relief for higher education.
Why are some schools and universities remote only, while others are open for in-person learning?
Without clear federal mandates, state and local authorities have largely been on their own to determine the best course of action for their schools — and those plans differ greatly even under similar circumstances. (The same goes for colleges.) The result: a patchwork of unclear messaging and policies that has left many parents in the lurch.
It seems that access to the right resources and advance planning have given some schools a better shot at opening successfully. For that reason, across the country schools in lower-income neighborhoods are significantly more likely to opt for remote-only instruction, furthering the disparity in quality of education. At the same time, some public schools are located in places with high community spread, so many of these districts have made the tough decision to start and stay remote only.
In New York City and San Francisco, private school students are generally receiving live classroom experiences, while most public school students in both districts spent much of the school year without — meaning that the class divide is determining which children receive in-person instruction.
And across the country, some public schools that are reluctant to fully reopen have been pushing to at least get younger students back in front of a teacher — as research suggests that these children are in particular need of in-person instruction.
But no matter what kind of school your children attend, if they were remote for the fall and have returned in-person for the spring semester, be sure you know what to expect. At this point it should go without saying, but again: If your school has a “masks recommended” policy, rather than a masks required one, you’re at greater risk. And old ventilations systems with poor circulation can mean that the virus hangs around in one place that much longer.
Students in districts with low community spread will be safer.
Why are my younger kids in the classroom and the older ones still at home?
For two reasons: 1. They really need that in-person instruction more than the older children, and 2. It’s safer for them to be in the classroom.
Younger children — those under 10 — are less-likely to contract and transmit the virus, so they can enter the classroom at a much lower risk than older students.
And keeping elementary schools open seems to work. In fact, during Europe’s second wave, even as countries re-shuttered, their youngest students kept coming to class.
“The data is becoming more compelling that there is very limited transmission in day care and grade schools,” said Michael Osterholm, director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota and a member of President Joseph R. Biden Jr.’s coronavirus task force.
So who’s coming back?
Many elementary students in New York City started back Dec. 7. Those in Michigan, Cambridge, Mass., and Johnson County, Kan., were already in class.
Other timelines are a bit less certain. But Chicago, Philadelphia and Los Angeles have all said that whenever they do open, the younger students will be the first ones back at their desks. (Those districts say they’ll reopen schools only after cases in their cities stabilize.) Las Vegas will also send young students back sooner.
And across the Midwest, which reopened quickly and has been suffering with high caseloads, public health officials shuttering high schools and sometimes middle schools have prioritized keeping elementary students in the classroom.
With a vaccine rolling out, will school get easier?
Short answer: It should!!
Kids will have to wait longer than most of the rest of us to get vaccinated — Pfizer and Moderna just started trials for kids over 12 — but kids aren’t the ones who are keeping the schools shuttered anyway.
Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, says vaccinating students is “an extra added benefit,” but not necessary for reopening.
Children rarely die after contracting the virus. In fact, young kids do not even pose a high risk of infecting others.
The real hiccup to school starting is protecting the adults in the building, and teachers are often among the first to get vaccinated — after health care workers and people living in long-term care facilities.
Of course, teachers aren’t the only adults at school. Bus drivers, cafeteria staff, custodians and receptionists are all critical to keeping a school running — and where they will fall in the vaccine line remains uncertain.
“The equity angle is really important,” said Dr. Grace M. Lee, an associate chief medical officer for practice innovation at Stanford Children’s Health. “All of the folks that enable a school to open are going to be critical to that work force.”
Do you have any strategies for staving off boredom at home?
At Home is your one-stop guide to riding out the pandemic. In it, you’ll find advice and guidance on everything you’ll need to pass the time: what to watch, cook, read, and listen to, as well as how to write, celebrate holidays and even travel (virtually of course), along with tips for dealing with the psychological and emotional effects of quarantine.
What should I do to keep my home safe? Should I still be disinfecting everything?
Always remember the basics, like washing your hands frequently (and lovingly reminding members of your household to do the same).
The coronavirus isn’t easily transmitted on surfaces. Or, at least, surfaces are a much lower risk than person-to-person transmission. So although disinfecting isn’t a bad idea (we are coming back around to spring cleaning season, after all) you probably don’t need to be quite as vigilant about that as we initially thought.
You can keep your home safe by keeping people who might be infected out of it. (And since we don't know for sure who those people are, it's best to keep to the members of your household or pod.)
And be sure to keep yourself safe when you’re outside of your home. That means wearing a mask and socially distancing whenever possible.
I’m working at home and stiff as heck. Tips?
By now, you've probably figured out the best places to work at home — the height of your desk and the quality of your chair matters. (If you work for a company, check and see if they will reimburse you to get the right equipment.)
You’ll want to focus on your wrists and forearms, your shoulders, and your chest and back. Here's three stretches that’ll help, but for now let’s try this one for your wrists:
* Stand with one arm in front of you and your palm facing the ground.
* With your other hand, gently pull back the fingers of the outstretched arm. You should feel the stretch in the underside of your wrist.
* Hold for a moment or two, then release.
* Next, keeping your arm straight, use your other hand to push your fingers and palm down and toward your body. Hold a few seconds, then release.
* Repeat with your other arm.
(Yeah, it feels good.)
And don’t forget to stretch and strengthen your whole body, too. See The Times’s 9-Minute Strength Workout, which includes exercises you can do in a pinch. And a little yoga at the start of the day can get you breathing through the inevitable stress that is to come with working (and doing everything else) from home these days.
I’m trying to exercise again. It’s really hard. Tips?
Even if you were an athlete beforehand, you are not going to be back at your peak capacity for a while. The usual return-to-play criteria for sick athletes do not apply, said Dr. James Hull, a sports pulmonologist at Royal Brompton Hospital in London.
“We have seen people have some mild symptoms to start with and seem to improve," he said, “only to then deteriorate really badly at seven days following their first symptoms."
Even if you haven’t been symptomatic, most everyone took some time off their normal workout routine in the early part of the lockdown, and many have struggled to hit stride with a new routine in this new pandemic world. In other words, a lot of people are a lot less toned than they used to be.
If you are one of those people, start slow. Focus first on strength, rather than cardio, because inactivity eats away at muscle mass.
Take your time as you return to weight training, said Brad Schoenfeld, an associate professor of exercise science at Lehman College in New York, who researches resistance exercise. “If you have been doing almost no training," he said, “plan to start at 50 percent of the volume and intensity of your prior workouts" when you return to the barbells. (And if you plan to head back to the gym, be sure to check out our question "How about gyms?" for safety tips.)
If you’re running outside, wear a mask, even if it’s uncomfortable. You’re breathing heavily, and you could be spitting out — or sucking in — virus droplets. No one wants that. And remember, you might not be hitting the same mileage as before, or you might be a little slower (especially with a mask), but that's okay. You'll get it back — one step at a time.
What about pets? Can they get the coronavirus? Can they transmit it?
In April, a dog in North Carolina tested positive for the coronavirus, as did two pet cats in New York and eight tigers at the Bronx Zoo. However, there has been no evidence that pets such as dogs or cats can spread the coronavirus, according to the World Health Organization and the C.D.C. (The animals showed mostly mild symptoms — though a tiger was “visibly sick" — and have recovered.)
Still, if you are sick with the coronavirus, it is best not to pet your family dog. And avoid petting other people’s dogs as well.
But do take care of your animal’s mental health — this is stressful for them, too. Staying at home for months on end can acclimate your dog to an unrealistic reality, experts said. Start leaving for a bit, even to walk, so they get used to the idea that you won’t always be around.
I want to renovate my home. What should I do?
You’re in luck. Home renovation is the new sourdough bread.
Almost a month after the Phase 1 reopening of New York City that allowed contractors and their crews back into residential buildings, “we’re redefining what ‘full steam ahead’ means," said Steve Mark, the chief executive of SMI Construction. “It’s not going to mean what it used to."
It’s a tough balance as contractors and homeowners try to navigate restrictions, but hammers are hammering once more.
Other than pandemic-related changes, renovating a home is a pretty standard process. You budget and design, work with a contractor and/or a designer, and prepare yourself for the inevitable mishaps and mayhem — you know, the good old 2019 version of crazy.
I miss looking at art. What do I do?
Some museums have reopened. Science museums designed for kids have opted for no-touch exhibits.
But other museums have been forced to close.
Of course, it's not the real thing, but by zooming in, you can “get up close" to the surface of canvases in a way that you might never have been able to before. And be sure to check out local libraries' virtual activities for kids. No matter where you live, The New York Public Library's events are a great place to start.
I miss getting dressed up — and still haven't test-run the clothes I purchased just before shutdown.
Sure, you're stuck at home, but you're not stuck in those sweatpants. (That's all you, sweetheart.)
Extravagant purchases innocently made in those first few months of 2020, before the extent of the pandemic was known, have become markers of a fast-receding era of freedom. Some purchasers have even saved their sales receipts, as if they were historic documents. Many of these items now languish in closets. Others are put to good use. (I just found a pair of new pants bought a year ago — tag still on, but not for long.)
Beautiful clothes are beautiful clothes. You deserve to be stunning, even if you’ve got nowhere to be. Wear a gown with that mask to walk the dog, pick-up dinner from your neighborhood bistro, dance around the house. It’s a pandemic. There are no rules. Be fierce.
Money and Work
What is included in the second stimulus bill?
Congress passed the hefty 5,593-page bill on Dec. 21 — just days before as many as 12 million Americans were set to lose unemployment benefits and other protections like eviction moratoriums were set to expire at the end of the year. However, whether it becomes law or not still rests with President Trump, who has criticized it.
The $900 billion economic relief package will be among the hardiest in recent times but falls far short of the CARES Act, which was almost twice the size and is credited with keeping the economy afloat in the spring.
The bill provides necessary aid to many for now. It helps fund testing, tracing and vaccine distribution and includes most of the elements economists have asserted are crucial to avoiding economic disaster.
The package, which was folded into a year-end spending bill in order to expedite its enactment ahead of Christmas, means that most Americans will receive a round of $600 stimulus payments, and that enhanced unemployment benefits will be restored at an additional $300 a week for an extra 11 weeks. Additionally, the package contains provisions affecting current and future students, as well as protections for renters and people with surprise medical bills. — It puts $285 billion toward the Paycheck Protection Program, which kept many small businesses above water last spring, and $15 billion toward struggling art venues.
It includes measures to address climate change, along with $82 billion toward funding colleges and schools, $13 billion to increase nutrition assistance, $7 billion for broadband access and $25 billion for emergency rental relief — as well as huge breaks to the country’s richest.
You can learn more about the bill — with its good, bad and just plain strange provisions — in questions below.
Is more coming under President Biden?
Ultimately, few on either side of the aisle seem thrilled with the new deal: President Trump called it a “disgrace” and all but threatened to veto it, while President Joseph R. Biden Jr. called it a “down payment” and said more was necessary — an idea that could be difficult to implement amid Republican opposition and rising optimism that a widely-dispersed vaccine could bring things back to “normal.”
Republicans and Democrats didn’t agree on much about the second relief package, but now that it has been rushed through Congress, they have found common ground — in how much they dislike it.
Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Democrat of New York said in a Tweet on the day of its passage that the quickie-read didn’t even constitute governance: “It’s hostage-taking.”
And in what may be a first, Senator Ted Cruz, Republican of Texas, publicly agreed with her, retweeting: “It’s ABSURD.”
(Just six senators — Mr. Cruz among them — and 85 House members actually voted against the package.)
With a dark cloud cast over the entire package, what can we expect going forward? And, perhaps most important to many struggling Americans: How does that translate into money in our pockets?
For one, Mr. Biden has promised to work toward another relief package during his first month in office. He has said the focus of that package would be to put money toward distributing vaccines to 300 million people, as well as to provide support to those who have lost their jobs and businesses struggling to stay open during the pandemic. The bill, he said, would also include more funding to help firefighters, police officers and nurses and would include a third round of stimulus checks — although the amount would be up for negotiation.
Can I expect another stimulus payment?
If the bill becomes law, many Americans can expect another payment — but not as much as last time. Single adults with an adjusted gross income on their 2019 tax returns of up to $75,000 a year can expect a $600 payment. Heads of households making up to $112,500 and a couple (or someone whose spouse died in 2020) earning up to $150,000 a year would get $1,200. Each dependent child brings in an extra $600. (Dependents 17 or older do not qualify.)
If your income hits just above those levels, you can receive a partial payment that declines by $5 for every $100 in income.
When and how should I expect the next stimulus payment to come through?
The first payments may go out before the end of the year, but that could be held up depending on what President Trump does with the proposed relief package on his desk. And no matter what, many people will be waiting a while before they see the money in their accounts.
The last round of payments is a good measuring stick: Under the CARES Act, people started receiving direct deposits two weeks after the legislation was approved — while those receiving the money by another method (an actual check or prepaid benefit cards) often waited much longer.
And, yes, just like last time, many of us will be receiving direct deposits this time around. So if you want to avoid the extra lag time, be sure that the I.R.S. has your bank account information on file through the I.R.S. tracking tool Get My Payment. (The tool will alert you if it needs more information for the direct deposit, and you can also add your address if you want a check.)
But the income I made last year makes me look ineligible. What do I do?
You’re not alone if your income looks a lot less in 2020 than it did in 2019 — and although this means you’ll have to wait to receive this second stimulus payment, the good news is that you’ll still be able to claim the money on your 2020 tax return. You can expect it back in the form of a refundable tax credit.
Go here for more information from the I.R.S. about what you need to know to receive your economic impact payment. And scroll to the question about taxes for a list of things to keep in mind before filing your taxes.
I still haven’t even gotten (all of) my first stimulus payment.
How long can I expect my unemployment benefits to continue?
The new stimulus package extends unemployment benefits for everyone for 11 weeks — expiring March 14 for those who have already reached their maximum benefit and April 5 for those who have not.
Most states cover 26 weeks of unemployment, although some provide less. The CARES Act had already extended that by 13 weeks and with an extra 11 now tacked on, the time folks can collect unemployment is almost doubled. (Also of note: Some states offer their own extended benefit program — often half the length of time of their standard program — so be sure to check your state’s website for more information based on where you live.) With that in mind, benefits could last almost a year or more between state and federal programs. (Go here for an illustration of the payment process in New York State.)
Additionally, in the new year, the extra federal benefit is coming back, so if you’re eligible for unemployment, you’ll be receiving an extra $300 a week tacked on to your usual stipend — for an extra 11 weeks.
Both extensions apply to those receiving state-level benefits as well as those on the Pandemic Unemployment Assistance program — covering self-employed, gig workers, part-timers and others who would not typically be allowed to collect unemployment benefits. For more on the extra $300, go to the next question.
When does the extra $300 start coming and how long will it last?
If you qualify for unemployment benefits, then you would also qualify for the Federal Pandemic Unemployment Compensation benefit — otherwise known as that extra $300 you’ll see in your bank account every week for 11 weeks in the new year.
Technically, the extra $300 a week will start after Dec. 26 and go through March 14 — but Department of Labor workers can expect a delay in those extra payments, so just because you claim your benefits doesn’t mean that you’ll receive the money at that time.
Of course, this isn’t anywhere close to that $600 a week under the CARES Act that kept so many of us afloat in the spring and summer. That extra payment ran out in July. This time, it will be more like those six weeks at the end of the summer when folks received an extra $300 each week following a memo issued by President Trump.
Will there be a delay between payments?
There could be delays. Check your state’s website for instructions about what you need to do to get the extra 11 weeks of benefits. While they’ll likely be reinstated automatically, you don’t want to leave that to chance, and you should expect to be waiting at least a few weeks before the money starts coming in.
Michele Evermore, a senior policy analyst for social insurance at the National Employment Law Project explained that, historically, benefits are restored with the date of enactment, so what you’d be seeing is a gap in when you get paid, not a gap in your eligibility.
I didn’t qualify before, what about now?
Just because you didn’t qualify for unemployment benefits before doesn’t mean that you won’t qualify this time.
For instance, if you previously received a mix of income from both self-employment and wages paid by other employers and are now unemployed, then you were most likely placed into a lower state-issued benefit bracket based on those lower wages.
Let’s take Norma Jean, for example. She works as a waitress between freelance movie gigs. Her restaurant work qualifies her for the lower, state-level benefits while boxing her out of the more generous Pandemic Unemployment Assistance program.
The second stimulus package tries to fix her problem, sort of. So long as Norma Jean received at least $5,000 a year in self-employment income before the pandemic, she is now eligible for an additional weekly federal benefit of $100 — tacked on to the $300 extra everyone else is receiving. (Both add-ons end March 14.)
But again, nothing will be paid quickly. Norma Jean’s state will have to reach an agreement with the Labor Department before she starts receiving that extra $100 — and with states coming to these agreements at different times, a Norma Jean in one state may receive her extra Franklin before a Norma Jean in another.
And take note: You don’t have to have lost your job to collect benefits. If you are quarantined or furloughed without pay, even though you expect to return to your job, you can collect benefits in the interim.
Will the new stimulus package help with my rent?
Yes, for some folks. The new stimulus package would put $25 billion toward those who need help catching up on rent — with a priority placed on families with lower incomes and people who have been unemployed for at least three months.
That money will be distributed through state and local governments, and eligibility is determined on several conditions: Your household income for 2020 cannot exceed more than 80 percent of the area median income; at least one household member must be at risk of homelessness or housing instability; and individuals must qualify for unemployment benefits or have experienced financial hardship in some capacity as a result of the pandemic.
More than 500 emergency programs have been created during the pandemic, according to Diane Yentel, chief executive of the National Low Income Housing Coalition. (Here’s the group’s database and map of such programs.)
I’m worried about getting evicted.
The eviction moratorium keeps getting extended in bits and pieces and will now go through Jan. 31.
The Trump administration previously banned evictions through the end of 2020 — following an order put forward by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warning that evictions would lead to such renters filling shelters and living in other crowded conditions, which could lead to spiking outbreaks. The new stimulus package doesn’t change the original order — except for extending it another month.
And while many renters are teetering toward peril, restrictions are tight for those who are eligible for the moratorium. They cannot expect to earn more than $99,000 in 2020 (that’s $198,000 for married couples filing joint tax returns) and must have experienced a “substantial” loss of household income, loss of wages, lay-offs or “extraordinary” out-of-pocket medical expenses, among other conditions.
Be sure to sign this form on the C.D.C. website declaring your eligibility by the end of the year, and check out this article to learn more about staying your own eviction. And if your landlord is pressuring you, be sure to check out low or no-cost legal assistance through Legal Services Corporation’s map, as well as Just Shelter, a tenant advocacy group’s website on local organizations helping tenants in need and Eviction Lab’s list of local and regional actions to halt evictions.
Does this affect how I should file my taxes this coming year?
A few things to keep in mind when filing taxes for 2020:
For qualification purposes, you may report earnings from 2019 on the questions about earned-income tax credit as well as on the refundable portion of the child tax credit. (This may help you maintain eligibility if you lost your job or have had your work hours reduced.)
If you didn’t get one or both stimulus payments because of an income discrepancy that mistakenly disqualified you or because you are married to an undocumented immigrant, then you can retroactively claim it on your 2020 tax return, and it will come back as a refundable tax credit. (Learn how to claim the recovery rebate credit here.)
If you deferred making payroll tax payments the last few months, you will have to make them — but you have all of 2021 to do so.
And remember, if you can, this is the year to give: Under the CARES Act, taxpayers can deduct up to $300 in cash without even itemizing your income tax return. And if $300 doesn’t seem like a lot, then go ahead and give it away — and take the tax deduction to boot!
What are my rights if I am worried about going back to work?
Employers have to provide a safe workplace with policies that protect everyone equally. And if one of your co-workers tests positive for the coronavirus, the C.D.C. has said that employers should tell their employees — without giving you the sick employee’s name — that they may have been exposed to the virus.
I don’t have health insurance. Help?
If you lost your job (and with it your health insurance), or even if you never signed up for a policy, you may have options. Some states and employers have loosened the rules around when you can sign up for insurance because of the pandemic.
There’s also the possibility of continuing your job-based coverage under a law known as the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act, or COBRA; applying for Medicaid with your state agency; or getting an individual plan at Healthcare.gov. It depends on your circumstances which route makes sense. For more details on the various coverage options, check out this piece by Margot Sanger-Katz and Reed Abelson.
The government has also made it easier for people to join or change their employer-provided health insurance plans, if your company decides to offer the option.
But navigating the complex web of alternatives and figuring out how to qualify can be a challenge.
People earning very little will most likely be eligible for Medicaid in 36 states and the District of Columbia. Because of the Affordable Care Act, most states now allow all residents to qualify for Medicaid if their household’s monthly income is below a certain threshold — around $1,400 a month for a single person or $2,950 for a family of four.
If your income is too high for Medicaid, you can probably buy coverage through the marketplaces established under the Affordable Care Act — and you may qualify for substantial subsidies. If you lose your job for any reason, you are permitted to sign up during a special enrollment period.
What about my 401(k)?
Watching your balance bounce around can be scary. You may be wondering if you should decrease your contributions — but don’t! In fact, if your employer matches any part of your contributions, make sure you’re at least saving as much as you can to get that "free money."
Many components of the stimulus package include changes to rules regarding retirement account withdrawals, borrowing and penalties.
Should I be putting money in a mattress?
Generally, that's not a very good idea. Even if you’re retired, having a balanced portfolio of stocks and bonds so that your money keeps up with inflation, or even grows, makes sense.
But you may want to think about having enough cash to cover basic needs if you’re retired. One financial planner recommended that retirees set aside enough cash for a year’s worth of living expenses and big payments needed over the next five years.
Should I refinance my mortgage?
It could be a good idea, because mortgage rates have never been lower. Refinancing requests have pushed mortgage applications to some of the highest levels since 2008, so be prepared to get in line.
But defaults are also up, so if you’re thinking about buying a home, be aware that some lenders have tightened their standards.
What about sick leave?
Most workers at small and midsize companies, as well as government employees, are eligible. That includes part-time workers.
Eligible employees get two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill or seeking care, as long as they’ve been employed at least 30 days. They can receive their full pay, up to $511 a day.
Some workers can also get 12 weeks of paid leave to care for children whose schools are closed, or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the outbreak, but fewer workers qualify for this type of leave. They can receive two-thirds of their usual pay, up to $200 a day.
Part-time workers will be paid the amount they typically earn in a two-week period, up to the daily limits. People who are self-employed — including gig workers like Uber drivers and Instacart shoppers — can also receive paid leave, but they must calculate their average daily income and claim it as a tax credit.
Paid leave is not for everyone though: Employers with fewer than 50 workers can deny workers the child-care leave (but not the sick leave) if it would be hard on their businesses. Companies with more than 500 employees are excluded from the rules entirely. Many workers at big businesses already have paid sick leave, but their employers’ low-wage workers are the least likely to be covered. The New America Foundation has published a detailed list of large employers (mostly consumer-facing companies like retailers, restaurant chains and hotels) and their policies.
How do I get a new job right now?
Straight up: this is going to be a slog.
If you've been laid off, it's perfectly normal that you may be grieving. Even if it wasn’t your fault — and, let's face it, these days it probably wasn’t your fault — losing your job is hard to swallow. (Even a job you didn't particularly enjoy.) You may be stressed financially. You may be stressed because you feel as though your identity has been taken from you. You may be stressed because you can't see what comes next. You may be stressed because of all of the above. If you can, give yourself some time before jumping right back in, and give yourself grace both in your day-to-day and in your job search.
And remember: if you’re just starting out, you’re not alone. People in their early 20s especially are entering a terrible job market, and might do well to manage their expectations, at least for a little while. No matter who you are, or what you were doing before, you’re probably going to need to be flexible. Lots of industries are laying off people for the foreseeable future, and many careers are on hold. Still, others are hiring in droves.
Taking a lower-wage service job — grocery stores, pizza delivery — might also work, but you'll need to balance financial needs with health concerns, because essential workers are at a greater risk of contracting Covid-19.
One positive to keep in mind: the American economy might be changing for the better. Training skilled workers went out of fashion. Now, it may be coming back.
OK, I have a new job. How do I start it?
Congratulations! In ordinary circumstances, starting a new job is an act of showcasing both professional expertise and social prowess. But onboarding virtually, especially during a pandemic, can feel distant and impersonal. And you may feel a little weird — even guilty — that your initial relief and excitement in getting the job has been tainted by disconnect now that you have it.
Embrace the weirdness, if you can. Expect your new colleagues to see your bedroom or home office immediately, or maybe your partner or pet lurking in the background. That’s OK. They’ll be forgiving (we hope). And remember, you can still be social: Zoom coffees are totally kosher.
Now that we've gotten that behind us, how do you prepare for the new job? Since you’ll be learning about your new role and your team through a computer screen, it’s important to give the technology you’ll be using a test run before your first day. Make sure you’re up-to-date on the company’s preferred communication tools, which may include Slack, Zoom, Microsoft Teams and other digital-collaboration products. (Just ask for a list upfront.)
Also, ask your boss and co-workers directly how they like to communicate. "You have to ask your boss, 'How do you want me to communicate with you? Do you want voice, phone, text, email and how often is good?'" said Lisa Jacobson, a career consultant.
And if none of the above applies becuase you’re starting a new in-person job, prioritize safety conversations first. It’s good to know where the company stands with pandemic safety guidelines, and it’s respectful to ask detailed questions. It’s also easier to establish your boundaries ahead of time, rather than having to wedge them into conversation a few weeks down the line.
I have a work visa. What’s going on with that?
President Trump temporarily suspended new work visas and barred hundreds of thousands of foreigners from seeking employment in the United States, part of a broad effort to limit the entry of immigrants into the country. The order is in place at least until 2021.
Mr. Trump blocked visas for a wide variety of jobs, including those for computer programmers and other skilled workers who enter the country under the H-1B visa, as well as those for seasonal workers in the hospitality industry.
The temporary suspension of work visas is opposed by a lot of businesses — including tech companies in Silicon Valley and manufacturers — whose leaders say it will block their ability to recruit workers for jobs that Americans are not willing or able to perform. Foreign doctors are willing to come help, but most cannot get into the country.
If you can, get in touch with an immigration lawyer and your employer. There may be legal recourse, and some attorneys are working on such cases for free.
Is flying safe?
Many countries around the world, including the United States, have imposed travel restrictions to help curb the spread of the coronavirus. Airport closures, the suspension of all incoming and outgoing flights, and nationwide lockdowns are just some of the measures countries are adopting in an effort to help contain the pandemic.
After the pandemic hit, three of the four biggest airlines in the country — American, Delta and Southwest — vowed to block the sale of middle seats to provide more social distancing in the air. United Airlines was the sole holdout. American Airlines and Southwest have since brought back the middle seat, with Delta extending that through March 30, 2021.
Can I travel within the United States?
Many states have travel restrictions, and lots of them are taking active measures to enforce those restrictions, like issuing fines or asking visitors to quarantine. Here’s a regularly updated list of statewide restrictions.
In general, travel increases your chance of getting and spreading the virus, as you are bound to encounter more people than if you remained at home, among members of your household or pod. “Staying home is the best way to protect yourself and others from Covid-19," the C.D.C. says.
So if you still choose to travel, take precautions. If you can, drive. If you have to fly, be careful about picking your airline. But know that airlines are taking real steps to keep planes clean and limit your risk. (And see the question above for information on flight capacity to help determine which airline you choose.)
I’m American. Where am I allowed to travel?
That depends on where you want to go.
Many countries around the world, including the United States, have imposed travel restrictions to help curb the spread of the coronavirus. Airport closures, the suspension of all incoming and outgoing flights, and nationwide lockdowns are just some of the measures countries are adopting in an effort to help contain the pandemic.
And even as parts of the world reopened to travelers in time for summer, many countries still remain off-limits to American visitors because of the high rate of coronavirus within the United States. Even so, more than five dozen others have started to welcome U.S. citizens. We have an updated list of the international destinations that allow U.S. citizens to enter, though there are some restrictions.
To determine the coronavirus risk in a particular country, visit the C.D.C. website for a four-tier ranking system providing some guidance, along with information on entry requirements and restrictions detailed by country. And go to the U.S. Department of Transportation website for recommendations for safer and smoother air travel.
But if you really want to get away, remember that by curbing your travel now you can get back out into the world (without a mask!) that much sooner, if you'll just keep your suitcases tucked away a bit longer. Consider instead making a quick escape with this virtual trip across the world, traveling to this year's "52 Places to Love in 2021." From the Arctic Circle to Senegal, from Ladakh to Kaliya Dhrow and from the art villages of Haiti to the Japanese bathhouses of Hokkaido — explore the beauty of the world through the memories of our very own readers, without ever leaving home.
Flights to some tourist destinations are cheap. But is it ethical?
Questions about the morality of traveling are not new. For years, people have raised concerns about climate change and traveling to countries with oppressive governments. Certain travel activities, like riding elephants, also raise eyebrows.
But with the temptation of cheap flights, the pandemic has put the morality of traveling in a whole new context. On the one hand, the economies of many vacation destinations often depend on tourism. Around the world, those in the industry have been similarly hit by travel restrictions, with workers now both worrying about their health if they go to work as well as how to continue supporting their families if they don't.
On the flip side, many countries have weak health systems, and traveling there could put the people who live there in grave danger. When cruisers were shut out of much of the Caribbean this spring and took safe harbor in the U.S. Virgin Islands, one of the only places to accept them, locals worried that their infinitesimal health care structure would be overwhelmed, as their case numbers began to creep up.
As with everything these days, assess the risks and be extra careful about safety guidelines — and if you're American, be sure to check out the question above to make sure, before you book that trip, that you're even allowed inside the country once you get there.
What are other strategies for getting away?
Even domestic travel is hard right now: Some states have imposed travel restrictions on out-of-town folks, and the list changes every day. Although driving restrictions aren't generally as tight as they were in the early months of the pandemic, the day before you go, you should still check restrictions (no matter your method of travel). And it may be less stressful to just stay close to home for now.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. You could buy or rent a van or a boat. (Both industries are booming.) Or go on a solitary hike in the country. Some national parks may be crowded, but you could take a road trip to an alternative destination. Nature can be healing, especially these days.
My trip was canceled. How do I get a refund?
If your flight was canceled, you’re in for an uphill battle. The airline has to give you a refund, but they might drag their feet. And if you booked with an agency, it may be more complicated. Also, don’t let them talk you into a credit. You’re entitled to a refund. Get a refund. Here’s how:
First, try to resolve it on your own — send a few emails to establish a paper trail and put on your best “I’d like to speak to the manager" tone. If you get nowhere, file a complaint with the Department of Transportation. Be as specific as possible. Then, let the company know you filed a complaint. (Twitter, if you have it, and especially if you have a steady following, is an excellent venue to complain, both by Tweets and Direct Messages, but be polite. Sometimes the social team is much nicer (ironically) than customer service.)
You should also remember, that some charter companies have made commitments to other companies and may be stuck. Being polite and understanding while remaining firm is the best approach.
Sarah Firshein, a travel writer for The Times, has been writing helpful columns on how to get your refund.